So when we left off, I announced my 12 point 30 day challenge.   You guys want to know how it turned out?  Patience, Grasshopper.  Let’s enjoy the journey on the way to our destination.

Here is my “report card” if you will for the first half of the challenge.

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Get Up Early

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Whole30

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Plank Challenge

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Abs Challenge

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Steps

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8 Glasses of Water

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5 Minutes Meditation

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20 Second Hug

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Real Kiss

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Wash Face

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Floss

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Bedtime Alarm

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To keep myself from completely blanking when I tried to tell you guys about it later (“uh, it sucked and then it got better?” is not very helpful), I kept a daily journal on my ups and downs and mishaps.  It has been informative for me even to review as I go back to edit.  (Speaking of editing, please forgive me if verb tenses are all over the place.  I tried to write in present tense, but I kept correcting myself and I’m sure I missed some.)  Brackets indicate my commentary from the fuuuut-ah, she says spookily.

Psst . . . It is also interesting to see how my 30 days compare to this whole30 what to expect timeline.

Without further adieu, here is how the challenge shook out.  One day at a time.  In real time.

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Day 1:  Why didn’t I set some of this stuff up earlier so I could hit the ground running??  I wake up early and spend many precious morning minutes deciding on which challenges to tackle and making a spreadsheet.  Oh, well, at least it got done.  When I tell James about it, he’s all, “uh, this is way more than you talked about before” and I’m all “I know, right??”  But go big or go home, I always say.  Why pull the bandaid off slowly when you can AMPUTATE?  (Note to self:  I may need to work on my metaphors.)

Who can do sit ups like this???  I cannot do them without having my feet come off the floor and making a jerky motion to get my torso off the ground.  Such poor form cannot be good.  After struggling, I switch to a pilates-style roll up and over [which I maintain for the remainder of the challenge].

I find my Jawbone Up, but it needs to be charged.  Not shocking after sitting in a drawer for a year.

Day 2:  The heat is helping on not eating.  Luckily, after walking around in the hot sun, the last thing I want to do is carbify.  Unfortunately, it is making not drinking hard.  This is the time for crisp white wine and icy pilsners, darnit!  I fail on bedtime alarm because of date night.  Since I’m not really eating or drinking, we decide to go on a long walk so I’m sure I got my steps in though.  Bonus!  But at the end of our walk, it would have been perfect to sit outside and sip something.  Sigh.

I am impressed on how much I’m enjoying meditation.  Meditation always sounded a little hippy dippy new age to me.  But after a few seconds of my mind racing, I’m impressed by how much everything actually calms down.  And how quickly  it goes!  I swear, it feels like 30 seconds have gone by and my alarm goes off.

The Up is charged, but it doesn’t seem to be working.  Oh, well.  Most of my walking is pushing the stroller; my count would be off anyway.  I decide to only give myself an “X” if I’m sure I made all the steps.  [I’m pretty stingy on this.  I did do a lot of walking, but you wouldn’t know it based on my report card.]

Day 3:  I almost don’t get up early.  After date night later arrival and reading for a few minutes, I’m probably not asleep until 2300.  I tell myself this would be justified.  I could sleep in.  But I want to brag to the internet that I did a secret 30 day challenge and rocked it so I make it happen.  To aid on the water front, I remember to get a glass first thing.

Blargh, after I get us out the door, I realize that I am dragging.  It could be the slightly less sleep.  It is probably the carb flu.  I have a sort of constant low grade headache and I’m just exhausted.  I’m not heartened by knowing it will probably get worse before it gets better.  But then it WILL get better and I will be a ripped, fat-burning machine.

I fail on bedtime again.  I’m watching a friend’s kid so they can go out to dinner (we do a sitting exchange), and I don’t make it home till 2140.  I immediately walk in the door, talk to James for a few minutes (and 20 second hug) and start to get ready for bed, but when my reading alarm goes off, I’m just not ready.  I read until 2240ish.

Day 4:  Getting up again is a challenge.  I was having some kind of dream that involved Giada de Laurentiis and Oprah Winfrey in a fashion/talent show.  They were just interviewing one of Oprah’s backup dancers about her makeup when the alarm went off.  I really want to see how this plays out so I try to get it back for a few minutes before I give up and roll out of bed.  Thankfully, the ab challenge is on a rest day!  Although then I realize that I should have been up to 30 seconds for plank challenge yesterday, and I think I only did 20.  Oops.

I don’t dig meditation as much today.  My mind keeps spinning, and I just keep thinking of things I wanted to do before the baby wakes up.  (Well, “baby.”)

But on the plus side, I feel much less crappy today.  I might still be a little tired, but none of the headache of yesterday.  At the end of our trip to the market, I bought the kids some pizza bianca to munch on.  It took some serious willpower not to cram a piece right in my mouth.

Another bedtime fail.  Curse you, Outlander books!  I even went to bed at like 2045 so that I would have plenty of time to read, but I still blew through my bedtime alarm and read until 2315.  I’m not sure what the solution is.  Read less interesting books?  Tire myself out more before bed?  Exercise actual self-control?  I can’t stop watching TV because I just realize that we haven’t watched anything at all this week.

Day 5:  Because of my bedtime fail, I set my alarm for 616 instead of 606.  Again, I don’t want to get up, but I do and knock out my plank and ab challenges.  The plank challenge is up to 40 seconds.  I actually set a timer instead of doing an inaccurate count in my head.

On the plus side, I think my stomach is looking a little less poochy.  This could be wishful thinking, and I only really feel this way first thing in the morning, but I think I see a difference.  James, probably wisely on his part, declines to comment.  He also declines to take a waist measurement, not to tell me the number, but just to confirm that it is working.  James: “We are not going down this road.”  FINE.  [James took initial and halfway measurements, but I didn’t look.]

Also on the plus side, I think my taste buds are adjusting.  We make paleo pancakes this morning and they taste crazy sweet.  My lunch salad is also packed with flavor.  BTW, I am KILLING it on the salad front this week.  I have made sure to have cooked protein and greens on hand, which makes it easy to just add in other things and douse it with olive oil.  This is a nice perk of being at home.  Commuting with salads is a huge PITA.  I’m having things like oven roasted turkey with spinach, dried cranberries, cashews, and broccoli.  Or spice rubbed chicken on greens with cucumber, carrot, and tomato.  I am a little worried about this weekend if we are trying to eat on the go.  Note to self:  boil some eggs.

Another bedtime fail.  This time, I think it is 2245.

Day 6:  I feel like sleep is not restful, lots of tossing and turning, but I actually wake up before the 646 weekend alarm I set.  I enjoy a little me time with my plank challenge (ab challenge rest day, w00t!), meditation, and water, before we get ready for a day trip to Comune di Sermoneta.   I drink 3 glasses of water in the morning to be ready, but then regret this a bit in the car.

We stop for lunch upon arrival, in part because I need a bathroom.  Here, I have a bit of a whole30 fail.  Not a deliberate–screw it, I’m going to eat pasta–kind of fail.  Our antipasto starts out great, and I eat grilled vegetables and olives.  For the main, though, there is menu confusion and my chicken comes with a sauce that I’m pretty sure has cheese and flour in it.  Face palm.  I try to scrape as much off as I can, which is hard both physically because of chicken nooks and crannies and mentally because cheese/flour sauce is delicious.  Sigh, such is the challenge of eating in restaurants on whole30.

Sermoneta is hilly.  We do a lot of steps, but I doubt I hit a walking count for the day.  I am exhausted at the end of the day though.  After some turkey hash and putting the kids to bed and slamming some water to makeup for a lack in the middle of the day, I get ready for bed myself.  And then read until 2300 . . .

Day 7:  I decide to enjoy one “sleep in” day and don’t set an alarm.  Even after an uneven night (Mac woke up around midnight), I wake up on my own at 600.  Intriguing.

Man, the numbers on these ab and plank challenges are starting to get high.  My modified sit ups aren’t too hard, but I start to lose track on the way to 40.  [Hahahaha, just wait until you SEE how high the numbers get.]  I am really struggling on the leg lifts, and I have to take two breaks to get them all in.  I have been doing the plank challenge and ab challenge back-to-back, but that is starting to be too much planking.  I may need to modify the routine to plank at a different time.

Dinner is hard.  After a jaunt about town to check out a dinosaur exhibit, we pick up a pizza.  I get to sit and watch everyone with cheesy deliciousness while I eat reheated frittata.  Yes, yes, I know we could have just not picked up a pizza, but I didn’t really have anything else for dinner.  Stay the course.  I have been putting a lot of hot sauce on things though.

Read until 2237.  I’m sure you guys are wondering why I still consider this a part of the challenge because I am getting a great big “F” on bedtime alarm.

Day 8:  Despite not making it to bed “on time,”  I wake up before my alarm.  Part of this may be that the shutters are cracked, and I’m getting some natural light.  (I shut them immediately.)  I do feel fairly rested though.

I don’t feel bad today, but I am a little tired.  This could be from the fact that it was over 90 degrees here today.  Yikes!

After lunch today, the frittata is thankfully all gone.  It was good at initial consumption, but I really missed cheese on the reheats.  Also, the leftover roasted broccoli I added made things taste a little strange later.  Note to self:  broccoli off the frittata list.

I think reading was until around 2300.  I know, I know.

Day 9:  Mac wakes up at 600 and ends up in our bed.  I creep out shortly after.  I do not feel very motivated this morning.  Instead of knuckling down on the computer, I waste time screwing around on the internets.  I do ab, plank, meditation, but I’m not enthused.

Today is brutally hot.  We do a play date meetup at Borghese, and I am flagging by the time we get back.  During the outing, I push water on the kids, but I do not do a good job for myself.  I pound water in earnest when we return home.  I am also lackluster on food.  I throw together chicken, spinach, olives, and carrots for lunch, but I almost feel like I’m eating medicinally.  Keep chewing these bites so you don’t feel hungry later mentality.  Guess I need to dust off some new recipes.

After not TV-ing for awhile, we go on a bender this evening.  One episode of Elementary and two of Brooklyn 99 (a show you should definitely be watching).  After reading, bedtime is 2310.

Day 10:  My eyes pop open at 600 on the dot, but I don’t spring out of bed.  I just sort of let my mind wander until the alarm goes off at 616.

It seems strange to me that the Ab Challenge does not have plateau days.  The Plank Challenge gives you a few days of the same before bumping you up.  The Ab Challenge just keeps going up and up and up.  I guess the argument is for incremental change.  I’m just glad the leg raises have leveled off a little.  Those are still killing me.  But whether the Abs, Planks, or Whole30, I am definitely seeing stomach results.  I keep sneaking peeks in the mirror when I walk by.  It is almost making me sad that I didn’t have the guts to take before pics.  Today is the first day I start detecting a little arm definition as well.

Of course, after I type that in the morning, I feel sort of bloaty the rest of the day.  Good times.  No clue on the cause.

I do fail on bedtime alarm, but it is MUCH closer.  I think lights out at 1020.

Day 11:  I went to bed early.  No kid interruptions.  I sleep until my 616 alarm.  Why do I feel so tired???  Getting up is a struggle.  I hate when it feels like I’m doing everything right and still can’t win.

I have rug burn on my elbow from sliding into plank position.  Awesome.

Rug burn aside, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with the Plank and Ab challenges.  I can still do my roll-ups without pause, but I have to pause on the crunches now as well as the leg lifts.  I get that it is supposed to get harder, but I know my form goes WAY downhill towards the end.  I’ll keep doing something.  I just don’t know if it will be the full numbers.

I feel bloaty again today.  This is a bummer because I have some really good food today.  Breakfast is leftover pork loin with cinnamon apples.  Lunch is a spinach salad with pork, avocado, caramelized onions, and fresh strawberries straight from the market.  Dinner is a Mexican-inspired salad with a tangy lime salsa dressing.  I still feel gross.

Bedtime is around 2250.  I’ve been doing more TV, and then reading on top of it.  Not that TV is the worst, but I think I’m using it as my end-of-the-day reward.  I can’t have a glass of wine?  How about a new episode of Brooklyn 99 instead.  Although we finished that last night.  After I catch up on Mindy Project and Elementary, I’ll be on the hunt for new programming.  At least until Bojack Horseman returns for season two on July 17.

I wake up at 245, and I have some trouble getting back to sleep.  I am not enthused, but this does make me realize, that other than kid-related wake ups, I’ve been sleeping more like a rock.

I also have a dream that I cheated on the whole30 with accidental consumption of corn chips.  Say what???  If I’m going to cheat, let’s make it something sexier than corn chips.  But in the dream, I was all super bummed about not getting my check mark on whole30.  Because of corn chips.

Day 12:  I’m in bed until the alarm, and I do NOT bound out of bed.  At least Ab Challenge rest day!

Unfortunately, the Plank Challenge jumped up by 30 seconds.  For the first time on the challenge, I have to break up the time.  I go back to read the instructions.  It looks like doing the full time matters more than doing it all at once, but it seems all at once is what they are really going for.  Oh, well.

After confirming that cocoa is OK on the whole30, I make this chocolate chili.  Ya’ll.  I may never make another chili again.  This stuff is stupid good.  It doesn’t taste chocolate-y or even mole-y.  It just has this depth of flavor that far surpasses my usual flavoring attempts with cumin, chili powder, and garlic.  I know this isn’t chili weather, but I promise you will not be sorry if you whip up a batch.

Bed at 2255.

Day 13:  I wake up at 552.  I do not bound out of bed, but I am fully awake and feel completely rested.  This is interesting.  I thought that I was somewhere in the south of needs-eight-hours camp, but I didn’t think it would be all the way down to seven.  I guess it is seven if-no-wine camp.

Leg lifts are actually easier today!  The number is up to 40.  I thought I would have to do four sets, but I make it through in two.

While the boys nibbled toast, I whipped up some scrambled eggs with chives and mashed sweet potato with cinnamon, nutmeg, and ghee.  (Don’t worry; I shared.)  I’m usually too lazy for scrambled eggs (a whole other bowl to clean!), but these were really good.  I may have to change my tune.  Either way, it wasn’t pancakes, but I did feel like I had a special weekend breakfast.

The rainy weather quashed our day trip plans, but we did manage a morning walkabout, and I even had a compliant meal in a restaurant.  I enjoyed an all-beef patty with lettuce, tomato, onions, and cucumbers.  Ham Holy Burger also has salad options, but it was nice to have something other than salad for once.

Bed at 2300.

Day 14:  I’m awake around 600.  Instead of getting up, I read for a bit.  Until Henry is yelling about something.  Then I get up.

Today we did all the socializing.  I was that weird girl who brought her own food to the party.  I don’t mind not drinking that much.  Sitting at a table with a plate of delectable cookies right in front of me is much harder.

Bed at 2355.

Day 15:  My alarm goes off, but I can’t make myself get up.  Probably a little something to do with that later bedtime.  Even though I’m tired, I still feel pretty good though.  Bonus on not drinking:  no alcohol-related after effects.

I do not do my morning exercises or meditation, which does not bode well for getting them done at all.

For the millionth time, I get annoyed that convenience food just doesn’t exist on whole30.  It isn’t just an Italy thing.  It’s a whole30 thing.  After grabbing Henry from school, we pick up some pizza for the boys and have a playground picnic.  I try not to directly inhale the pizza fumes and pound a salad with a full avocado once we get back upstairs.

I get sidetracked on the bed routine because we are dealing with rebooking a flight.  Even though I don’t stop reading at 2206, I make myself stop at 2235.  Willpower.  I haz it.

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So no sexy cliffhanger, but that’s the first half.  (Does our heroine keep doing it and slay the sugar dragon???)  Feeling a little better.  Annoyed with restaurant food on the whole30.  Failing miserably on bedtime.

Tune in for part two tomorrow!