My kids say some pretty hilarious things.  I’ve been told that I used to say hilarious things once, but my parents didn’t write it down and cannot remember even one witty anecdote.  Inspired by YHL’s Clara Conversations, I wanted to share some isms as I collect a critical mass.

Henry: (Getting dressed for school, standing on a stool with his back to the full length mirror, wearing Spiderman undies…) Spiderman has a mask…and underneath his mask is … (Pulls down underwear) A BUTT!

Me: So you have two new classmates?
Henry: Yeah. X has brown skin and Y has curly hair.
Me: Isn’t it nice that we all look different? Much easier to tell us all apart.
Henry: We could all wear name tags.

Henry: I’m working on some new catch phrases. (Proceeds to say NO catchphrases, new or otherwise.)

Me: (buckling people into car and attempting a pep talk) Ok, guys. I know it’s been a long day.
Mac: And you’re frustrated. Right, Mom?
Apparently, they’ve heard this pep talk before . . .

Mac: I am a peg leg! I am a Virginia peg leg!

Henry: (walking into a new hotel room) This looks promising.

James: Mac, where’d your burger go?
Mac: I ate it all and it got di-gest-ed!

Henry: (pointing at my top knot) You look like you have a man bun.
It’s just a bun! We had them FIRST.

Mac: Limes grow up into oranges.
Well, oranges are green first . . . so same?

Henry: (It’s late and dark and we’re driving to our hotel in Bali after a full day of travel. Henry abruptly wakes up out of a sound sleep.) I’m attracted to night time light. (Starts dancing to the radio.)

Henry: (After pwning the kids’ suction cup archery): I can’t believe I just shot toilet plunger arrows.

James: (watching Beauty and the Beast) He saved her life and now she’s nursing him back to health.
Henry: How did she turn herself into a doctor?

Psst.  Want more hilarity?  Check it out here.