Carnival: definitely a thing here

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A few weeks before Ash Wednesday, I noticed some confetti scattered around the playground at Villa Borghese.  Cool, I thought, some kid must of had a birthday party.  Then I started noticing it at other playgrounds.  And on the streets.  And basically everywhere.  You can see where this is going . . .

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Turns out, this was all Carnival, or Carnevale here, related.  It felt like a secret society at times.  You don’t know when or where, but at some appointed time Italians will assemble and throw confetti (coriandoli) and silly string at each other.

We witnessed this on a trip to Tivoli.  The whole town was streaming toward the main piazza, as if drawn by a magnetic force.  Unfortunately, we were two Cheerios from full kid meltdown and needed food STAT so we couldn’t stick around to observe.  But when we emerged from lunch, it looked like a confetti bomb had gone off.  Save a few stragglers and the balloon vendor, the square was deserted.  (Oh, right, balloons and inflatable objects also seem integral to the secret fun.)

In addition to confetti, silly string, and balloons, Carnevale means dress up.  The toy store around the corner trotted out all the costumes you didn’t see at Halloween.  I dropped Henry at school the Thursday before Ash Wednesday and missed the dress up day memo.  In my defense, it was early days on school.  Also, NO ONE told me.  Everyone just seems to know.  Secret society.  Luckily, Henry was pretty psyched about the face painting and did not comment on his lack of costume.

They called this "Spider Clown"

They called this “Spider Clown”

Things intensified as we approached Fat Tuesday.  More dress up.  More confetti.  More streamers.

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I don’t know why this surprised me.  I just didn’t realize it was a thing.  Mardi Gras in New Orleans.  That’s a thing.  Carnival in Rio.  That’s a thing.  Carnevale in Venice.  That’s a thing.  But Rome (and apparently many other places in Europe)?  I didn’t know.

Carnival is DEFINITELY a thing in Tuscany.  Coincidentally, our trip to Montepulciano with my mom occurred the weekend before Lent.  A friend helpfully sent me a list of major celebrations in Tuscany, noting that we would be close to Foiano della Chiana, home of the oldest carnival celebration in Italy.  We played it by ear.  I wanted a more relaxing trip instead of stuffing everything in.  The hills in Tuscany make distances deceptive.

In the end, we did go.

WHOA.

Adults paid an admission into town (I think 8 euro).  We got there just in time for the confetti cannon.  I KNOW.  Hang on.  Let me set the scene.

It was crowded, but not scary crowded.  I wasn’t worried about being crushed or separated from my group.  Vendors sold bags of confetti and horns.  There were also food vendors galore selling yummy fried things.  You could even get hot wine, but it was not as good as at the German markets.

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The crowd was, shall we say, festive.  I think at least a quarter of the participants were in costume.  Most frequently costumed were kids and groups of bros, although there were some ladies as well.  These were not elaborate historical costumes like you’d see in Venice.  It really just looked like Halloween was happening in February.

It was loud.  Between people shouting and music blaring, you weren’t having an intimate conversation with anyone.

OK, back to the confetti cannon.  In the super old and fancy town hall in the main piazza, revelers lined the balcony, kind of like balconies on Bourbon Street.  We stood to the side of the scrum below.  After a countdown, the confetti guns fired.  These were sort of a letdown.  Just long tubes with some confetti shooting out.  But that was not all.  The group up top rained down confetti as the cannons fired.  Everyone down below threw confetti as well.

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After that stopped, they rained down inflatables.  Nemos.  Spidermans.  Peppa Pigs.  James lost his glasses trying to grab one, but luckily they were recovered before someone could stomp them.

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THEN, they tipped ginormous balls down into the crowd for some serious volleyball action.  It was a little surreal.

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After the crowd dispersed, we went around the corner.  And saw THIS:

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Turns out it was one of three incredibly elaborate floats we saw.  The floats seemed to be part of a very slow moving parade.  Slow moving because the route was in no way cleared and they were sort of just moving through the crowd.  They all had multiple moving pieces, like a bull shaking its head and dolphins leaping.  It was a sight to behold.

No words

No words

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They also had music THUMPING out of the speakers.  Mac was tolerant, but unflappable Henry was flapped.  We backed off and left a little bit later, picking up delicious porchetta sandwiches for the drive home.

When we got home, we found confetti everywhere.  In our shoes.  In our hair.  Somehow in the kids’ diapers.  So, yeah, Carnival.  Definitely a thing here.

ICYMI: Daylight Savings Edition

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Count those wheels

Count those wheels

That’s right.  Most of you sprung ahead a few weeks ago, but we are finally doing it this weekend.  I’m pretty psyched about the extra daylight.  We will playground for-evah!

On the blog:

My top picks for Munich with kids when it is cold outside.

I updated my About page.  If you have more questions I should add, let me know!

I time tracked another day around here so I can answer the “what do you do all day” question.

Henry has been going to Italian day care for about two months.  I finally got around to sharing more about it.

I’m still trying to figure out a posting frequency round these parts.  Part of it is that I’m trying to carve out time for travel planning.  Another part is that we are going on adventures faster than I can write about them.  Our weekend adventures are usually pretty photo-dense, which means mucho editing time.  These are the posts I don’t love to write.  I want to make them more interesting than a hey-look-at-someone-else’s-vacation-photos type of thing.  Working on it.

On the internets:

For all you lawyers, LVK talks about billable hours and time management.  Yes, I have thoughts.  I still need to comment on this one.

Long but interesting:  What Ruth Bader Ginsburg Taught Me About Being a Stay-at-Home Dad.  I like his approach on thinking of seasons of life.  That’s what I’m doing now, a more intensive season with my kids.  I worry about what might be available next.  Not reassuring that a Supreme Court clerk had the same worry!

Loving this jacket.  I’ve been on the hunt for a moto-style knit for awhile.  It is jacket weather now . . .

Coming up:

What are you guys up to this weekend?  We’ve got an Easter egg hunt tomorrow, and we may try to dye some (brown) eggs.  On Sunday, we may hit the flea market in Trastevere.  It should be a chiller weekend before we get ready for an upcoming trip to Puglia AKA the heel of the boot.  I’m pretty excited.  Happy weekend, ya’ll!

3 Weird Things about Italian Day Care

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As I mentioned here, our routine has changed recently.  Henry is doing a few hours a week at asilo nido AKA Italian day care for ages 0-3.  (Nido means nest.)  After age 3, kids go to public scuola materna.  A friend here is doing the process for her child.  It involves multiple passwords and secret handshakes and sounds more difficult than college applications.  Luckily, Henry’s asilo covers up to 5 years so we shouldn’t have to change in a few months.

Why did we decide to do this?  Two main reasons.  Number one is for the interaction with other kids.  Henry does get to see friends at least one or two times a week and he has his brother, but we wanted to up the ante.  Henry has been practically tackling other kids at the playground because he wants playmates.  OK, message received.

Second, we wanted to give him a shot at some Italian.  I was previously skeptical, but that kid really is a little sponge.  He’s not getting much of an opportunity to advance his foreign language skills around me.  This way he will at least have a fighting chance.  (Some of his teachers speak English; we didn’t throw him completely in the deep end.)

Although this was not a primary reason, we did want to give me a breather as well.  The jury is still out on whether this is really a break.  Getting out of the house in time for school can be a pain.  Henry is only doing two hours at a time.  Granted, this is two hours more than before, but it isn’t a ton of time away.  And I still have Mac.  But getting out of the house is growing easier, and I’m able to do some things with Mac that I haven’t attempted with both kids.  The idea is that eventually Mac will do a few hours at day care as well, and then I will have no idea what to do with myself.  (“FREEDOM,” William Wallace styles.)

We certainly did not decide to do this for the free helping of illness we’ve all enjoyed.  Once Henry started, I think we were all sick for about a month.  Thankfully, that has evened out (furiously knocking on wood), but I’m holding my breath until the next outbreak.

Henry has been going for about two months.  Sometimes I’m frustrated, but I think it is a positive development overall.  Henry has a new bestie named Isabella.  He has started looking forward to school.  Here are some things that have thrown me for a loop as we’ve been figuring this out.

1) You can park your baby

What Henry is doing is called baby parking.  I’m not translating.  That is what they call it.  Baby parking.  This means you just drop your kid and pay by the hour.

Crazy, right?  Technically, it isn’t as willy nilly as it seems.  They do ask for you to have a general schedule.  But still.  Hourly coverage when you need it.

I can’t see how this would fly in most places because of required teacher to student ratios.  If you don’t know how many kids are showing, how do you know how many teachers need to show up?  I think the answer is either a relaxed or nonexistent ratio law here.  Henry’s asilo claims they have a 1 to 5 ratio.  I’m skeptical.  Obviously, I feel comfortable or I wouldn’t have Henry there, but I don’t think it is 1 to 5 every minute of the day.

This works out great for us.  I only pay for the hours I use.  I came into it thinking I would do 1-2 days a week.  They suggested 4-5 because they think a child thrives more with regularity.  We compromised on 3.  But if I don’t feel like taking him, I don’t.  Yesterday, it poured rain all morning.  I didn’t feel like walking around in the rain.  We didn’t go.  No cost to me.

I prepaid for a bunch of hours and they gave me a sort of punch card.  I mark down as the hours are used.  They claim they are also tracking, but I’d be surprised.  Again, I trust them with my kid, but I don’t think it is the most organized operation.

2)  $$$

Speaking of paying for hours, day care seems so CHEAP here.  The hourly rate is 9 euro.  8 euro if you prepay for 50 hours.  7 euro if you prepay for 100 hours.  You can guess what we did.

But the full-time rate also seems super cheap.  Looking at this day care and other local ones, full time care is in the $400 – 700/month ballpark.  That is 1/3 to 1/2 what we paid in DC.  And Henry’s day care has an organic chef on-site, something ours did NOT have back home.  So this could be considered pricey in other parts of the US, but it is a steal compared to DC prices.

3)  Stairs, the bane of my existence

After about a month, Henry’s asilo moved to a new location.  Everyone raved about the new place.  Bigger!  Better courtyard!  So much light!  And the building is lovely, but we went from a scenario where I could walk my stroller in and park it under a covered pavilion to STAIRS.  Not just a few stairs.  A lot of stairs.

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These are no-way-around these stairs.  You get buzzed in off the street, and there is a little landing.  Then you have 8 stairs to get down to get inside.  I end up cramming my stroller to the side of the landing beside some other strollers.  Unloading both kids.  Schlepping down the stairs.  Repeat in reverse for pickup.  It’s a huge pain.

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The stairs mystify me.  More than 90% of the patrons here walk and drop their kids by stroller.  How are people not up in arms?  A friend tells me that most places have stairs.  Just because of the older buildings.  All the day cares have it so no one complains.  They are just used to it and deal with it.  The vast majority of people I see also seem to be dropping only one kid.  I’m sure that helps.  Me with the spaghetti noodle arms though, I’m not making it up and down the stairs with a the double stroller.  I would like one ramp, please.

There are other differences from DC, like having to change Henry to inside shoes when we get there, but nothing earth-shattering.  The teachers seems positive, energetic, and excited about kids.  That’s probably the number one thing I look for.

Anything else you are curious about? 

Psst.  Want more differences?  Differences around the house here.  Differences on lifestyle here.  Differences on starting solids here. 

Another day in the life

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Last year, I told you about a typical day around these parts.  Since then, Henry is doing a few hours a week at Italian day care which we are treating as preschool.  Here’s our new usual routine on a school day.  You know, until it all changes again in 2.2 seconds.

4:50 Mac is awake.  I give him a few minutes to settle down.  No luck.  I go to feed him.
6:56 James’s alarm goes off.  I pull the covers over my head.  Why am I so tired?  Is it really just Monday?
7:30 – 8:05 Shower, get dressed, makeup.  Say goodbye to James.
8:05 – 8:15 Wake up Mac to feed him.  Normally, I’d let him sleep, but we already run behind enough as is on school days.
8:15 – 8:25 Head into Henry’s room.  New diapers for the boys.  Get everyone dressed.
8:25 – 8:35 Into the kitchen for breakfast.  Normally we have eggs plus fruit, avocado, or sweet potato.  But we only have one egg left so it is oatmeal with apples and cinnamon.  I work on the oatmeal and fill watered down juice cups.
8:35 – 8:55 We eat.  For someone who loves all food, Mac is being pretty picky about the oatmeal.  Henry is showing off and taking big bites.  I talk about school and how much fun it will be to try to get Henry pumped up.
8:55 – 9:00 Clean that kitchen.
9:00 – 9:20 A dreaded part of my day: getting us out the door for school.  Thankfully, Henry is feeling cooperative today.  At 9:20, we have new diapers, coats, and are locked and loaded in the stroller.

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Temporarily waylaid after I snap a pic and Henry wants to take a picture of his brother.

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9:20 – 9:32 We walk to school.  These posts are good for me too because they force me to face reality that, yes, it does take longer than 5 minutes to get places.
9:32 – 9:40 Unload the kids, walk Henry into school, and remove his coat and shoes.  Henry is being Clingy McClingerson today.  His teacher, Valentina, has to actually peel him off me in the end.  No screams; he’s just being a little timid.
9:40 – 9:52 Mac and I are on the town!  After I reload him, we walk to a playground at Villa Ada.
9:52 – 10:27 I give Mac a chance to stretch his legs.  We do some time on the swings, but mostly I just help him pull up AKA his most favorite thing ever.  I also try to keep him from eating rocks, another favorite pursuit of his.
10:27 – 10:50 I recline Mac in the stroller and provide a pacifier to encourage napping.  We walk to the market, and sure enough, Mac closes his eyes right before we get there.
10:50 – 11:05 I visit my new bestie, AKA the egg lady.  Picture giant eggs with Auburn Tiger colored yolks.  Delish.  Once you go egg lady, you can’t go back, they say round these parts.  (20 eggs/6 euro)

Guess which one is the supermarket egg

Guess which one is the supermarket egg

We also visit our produce stall.  We picked this one because they have sweet potatoes, and now I’m working on becoming a regular.  After learning I’m from DC, Duder (I’ll get his name soon) introduces me to another customer who he says is from LA.  (Turns out to be San Francisco.)  But I love everything about this; I’m slowly starting to feel like a regular.

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I was going to work up the courage to visit the fishmonger (almost all the fish are whole and will involve an interesting display of broken Italian and hand gestures on my part to make them manageable), but no fish on Mondays apparently.  This makes sense because fishermen are probably not out on Sundays.

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11:05 – 11:35 Mac is still asleep.  I decide to enjoy the sunny weather and just walk around for a bit.  I turn down a few new streets because why not.

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11:35 – 11:42 Back to school for Henry.  The kids are running around in the play area outside.  This is awesome (1) because Henry looks longingly at all the toys outside every time I coax him inside so I’m glad he got to experience it and (2) he is ALREADY wearing his coat and shoes.  SCORE.
11:42 – 11:54 We walk back home.  It still takes longer than 5 minutes.
11:54 – 11:56 We circle the building because Henry wants to see our car.
11:56 – 12:06 Unloading, de-coating, re-diapering.
12:06 – 12:30 We play.  I keep expecting Henry to ask to watch TV, but he only asks for potato chips.  I can work with that.
12:30 – 1:00 Lunch time!  Henry has yogurt, clementines, and potato chips.  Mac and I have leftovers and clementines.  I try to ask Henry about his time at school.  After spending so much time together, it intrigues me that he now has stuff of his own.  Because he is an unreliable narrator, I don’t even know what some of this stuff is.  Maybe they played with legos or maybe they went to the moon.  Who knows?
1:00 – 1:15 Prep for nap.  Story time.  Henry down.
1:15 – 1:20 Feed Mac.  Mac down.
1:20 – 1:25 Start a load of laundry.  Make popcorn.  Pull some stock out of the freezer for dinner.
1:25 – 1:40 Browse the internets while munching on popcorn and the last of the truffle pecorino from our trip to Pienza that I still need to tell you guys about.
1:40 – 2:45 Get my blog on.  Some combination of writing, photo editing, and link linking.  And Publish!
 2:45 – 2:55 Look up some recipe ideas for dinner.  Glance at a few other websites.
 2:55 – 2:56  Henry is awake and screaming.  They shorted me!  I know it is only a few minutes, but it feels significant.  Henry cannot be persuaded to stop screaming.  Now Mac is also screaming.  Coincidence . . . I think not.
 2:56 – 3:05  Screaming.
 3:05 – 4:00  Everyone is rediapered and has ceased screaming.  We play in the living room.
 4:00 – 4:05 And I have reached capacity.  I offer Mac a top up.  (Mac never refuses a top up.)  I announce that we are heading to the park.
 4:05 – 4:20 Shoes, coats, check diapers.  Finally they are loaded in the stroller with snack packs for their munching pleasure.
 4:20 – 4:40 We walk to Villa Borghese.  On the way, we run into one of James’s coworkers.  His family is out of town, and I extend a dinner invitation.
 4:40 – 5:25 We play in the park.  Henry runs around like a maniac.  I try to persuade Mac NOT to eat the rocks.

Someone seemed to be filming a very Rebecca Black style video here today

Someone seemed to be filming a very Rebecca Black style video here today
 5:25 – 6:00 We walk home.  De-coat.  Rediaper.  De-shoe.
 6:00 – 6:36 James gets home.  We debrief, and I head in to cook dinner.  I abandon whatever my plan for the chicken stock was and make chili.
6:36 – 7:30 James’s coworker arrives.  We sit to enjoy the cheesy chili goodness.
7:30 – 8:00 Prep the kids for bed.  Toothbrushing.  Diapers.  PJs.  Storytime.  I go put Mac down while James finishes up with Henry.
8:00 – 8:25 While James cleans the kitchen, I dork around on my phone.  I eventually abandon facebook and go in and talk to James.
 8:25 – 8:45 I’m beat.  I get ready for bed.
8:45 – 10:06  In bed reading.  I’m currently reading Book 2 of the Outlander series.  I was warned this would be addictive and it is.  The first book felt a little bodice-rippy, but I think it was just where the characters were then.  The writing is good, the story hums along, and it makes me want to plan a trip to Scotland immediately.

So that’s our new school day routine.  Henry goes three days a week, except when he doesn’t.  Like if it is raining.  Or we just don’t feel like it.  More on school soon.

Two hours feels incredibly short, but I try to have some dolce vita moments with Mac while Henry is at school.  We go on walks.  We hit markets.  We explore.  We’ve even gone to get cappuccino with James.  Good times.

So what else can you do in Munich?

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Are you sick of hearing about Munich yet?  I mean, it’s only been three months since our trip.  You’d think I would have run out of stuff to talk about.  Well, you’d be right.  This is officially the LAST Munich post.  Until the next one.  Nononono.  This is the last.  #orisit? #yesyesitis

So you know we journeyed primarily for the markets, but we knew Munich had plenty of other things to see.  I also knew that we would need to brave more inside things than usual, given the icy temps.  Usually, outside is our friend.  Just turn Henry loose and let him kick a rock.  But this time I knew we needed a game plan for all things indoors.

So, should you find yourself in Munich, with or without kids, here are some things to do when you aren’t enjoying the beer and bratwurst.

1. BMW Welt

This was a HUGE hit with the kids.  And by kids, I mean Henry.  This futuristic building showcases very pricy cars and motorcycles that you can climb all over.  And then try to persuade your toddler to climb OUT of.  Poor James.  He still recounts the stink eye he received from a line of grown men upon trying to extricate Henry from the $100,000 car so they could have their turn.

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It was easy to get to, just a few stops on the metro.  Once you exit the metro, you’re there.  You are dangerously close to the Olympic Stadium if you’d like to check that out as well.  We looked over at it, but did not venture that way.  It was cold, ya’ll.

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You can also visit the BMW Museum across the street.  But that costs money.  Oh, did I not mention?  The BMW Welt is FREE.  That’s right.  Hours of entertainment for the price of a metro ticket.

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This place was also good for a family.  They have a changing room downstairs (like a family bathroom minus the toilet).  They also have large lockers where you can stash your gear, free of charge.  There is a restaurant if you need a pick-me-up.  And there is even a little play area with a few toys.

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I was a little meh because cars aren’t really my thing, but I got a kick out of seeing Henry’s excitement.  They had a stunt motorcycle demonstration while we were there.  I will admit that was pretty cool.  Henry still talks about that time we saw a moto drive up and down the stairs.

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For kid-friendliness and overall enjoyment of the experience, I give it five Breadstick Macs.

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2. The Residenz

We didn’t make it to Nymphenburg Palace outside of town, but we did make it to the Residenz.  This is where the Wittelsbachs, who basically ran Munich, posted up for many years.

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We paid to see the Residenz Museum, but not the Treasury.   I figured that was as much as we should press our luck with the two destroyers in the fancy castle.

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There is a coat room, but they cautioned us that it would be cold inside.  For the stroller, they asked that we switch ours with one of their inside strollers.  These were actually fancy Maclaren strollers; much nicer than the umbrella stroller we had with us.  Cool, no problem.

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What was a PROBLEM that NO ONE mentioned were the large number of stairs on the tour.  I’m not talking a couple of stairs.  I’m talking flights of stairs, with zero elevator alternative.  It’s fine.  I just wish they had given us a heads up.  Like a “hey, please take this fancy stroller, but do be warned that there are oodles of unavoidable stairs.  Toodles!”

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Henry lost it fairly early on during the tour.  He vociferously refused to stay in the stroller.  He wouldn’t walk.  He was doing some screeching.  We even tried putting Mac in the stroller with me wearing Henry as a backpack.  You know what else is on the back of me?  My hair.  That doofus would not stop pulling my hair.  We hustled through the beautiful rooms.  In a way, it was probably better.  This way I just enjoyed the palace ambiance without being worried about reading EVERYTHING.  But it would have been nicer sans the hair pulling.

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We didn’t even try the bathrooms so I can’t report back.  I would not hold out hope for a changing table though.

For us, I give it only two Breadstick Macs.  If you could keep your kids locked down though, you might get more mileage out of this one.

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3. The Viktualienmarkt

This is a daily food market that has been operating for lots and lots of years.  (As you can see, we value historical accuracy around here at Roman Reboot.)  It was conveniently across from our hotel.  We didn’t spend much time there because, you know, super cold outside, but it was nice to walk through.  They supposedly have a biergarten, but I think this is just in warmer weather.

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In sum, we didn’t really take advantage of this one, but it would be a great place to pick up a snack or some provisions if you have a kitchen.

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4. The Schrannenhalle

This is beside the Viktualienmarkt.  It is sort of like taking the Viktualienmarkt party indoors and a little yuppier.  (DC folks: this is basically Union Market.)  They have individual stall/booth like places, but it is a little more restaurant-y.  Like you could grab a glass of wine and a snack kind of a place.  (I looked all over for beer to take back to my hotel.  They did not seem to have that.)

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Important to Henry, the Milka store is downstairs.  For me, Milka will always be inferior to Kinder, but we picked up some pretty tasty treats.

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5.  Asamkirche

On this one, I just really like the backstory.  This is an incredibly over-the-top Rococo church (I guess those are redundant) built by the Asam brothers in the 1700s.  These brother architects built it as a private church to basically show off what all they could do for private clients.

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It is pretty tiny.  You can do the whole thing in less than five minutes.  But interesting (and free!) to pop in if you are by that way.  And you probably will be; Munich downtown is actually pretty small.

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6.  Frauenkirche

This is one that is a part of the Munich skyline, but I think you can skip.  Granted, we didn’t try to climb the tower.  That might have been worth it for the views.  The inside of the church is nice, but nothing super special.

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There is a pretty sweet cenotaph in back.  According to the internets, this is the Cenotaph of Emperor Louis IV by Hans Krumpper.

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7. Ohel Jakob synagogue

This is one you can’t just roll up into (although this site mentions tours), but is impressive to see from the outside.  Rick Steves says it was designed to look like the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  According to the internets, “[t]he glass roof represents a tent (Ohel), symbolizing Moses’ 40-year-journey through the desert.”

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It is definitely an interesting, recent addition to downtown Munich.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  And, there is a small playground right outside.  This is the only playground we spotted in all of our trekking around downtown.  BONUS.

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8.  The Glockenspiel

And, last but  not least, Munich’s famous glockenspiel at Marienplatz.  When we were there, shows happened at 11:00 am and noon, but there are more in summer.  We caught the show our first day and our last.  Yay for trip bookends!

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The show is surprisingly involved and it goes on for awhile.  I find it a little boring, but Henry was all about it bout it.  Every time we went by, he commented about when the men would be moving again.  Rick mentions hitting the upper floors of the bookstore across the street for a bird’s eye view.  We tried that, but the windows are small and the view was not great.  I think you are better off on the ground.

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So that’s our trip.  I was bummed that we didn’t make it to the English Garden, but you know, freezing.  Next time, Gadget.

Did we miss your Munich fave?  Did you like these sights?  Isn’t Breadstick Mac adorable?

How to Keep That Toy from Getting Stale

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“It looks like a day care threw up in my living room.”  ~recent quote from my sister

Yup.  I hear you.  Kids have toys.  Toys are fun.  They are good to have.

But.  Sometimes I get sick of stepping on another toy.  Or having a primary-colored explosion in the house.  Sometimes I am completely over and done with the toys.

Since we moved here, I’ve been practicing what I call Toy Rotation.  These are the toys available for play:

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In case you can’t tell from the mess, that is one shelf of books and two shelves of toys.  Not pictured:  a few freestanding things like Thomas Train, a car track, and the Exersaucer.

But where are the rest of the toys, you ask?  Come, I’ll show you.  They are tucked away in our apartment’s one walk-in closet.  Voila.

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This space used to look like this, but it was harshing my toy rotation.  I decided to move an underused bookcase into the space, and I’ve been very happy with the result.

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How my Toy Rotation works:  I just, you know, rotate the toys.  Sometimes every few days.  Sometimes once a week.  Whenever I feel the need.  Sometimes I rotate everything.  Sometimes I just swap a few things.  No fixed schedule.

Why I like the Toy Rotation:

  • This way I only have as many toys out as I can handle strewn across the living room floor.  And trust me, the toys are usually strewn across the living room floor.  I use the rotation to break up how many multi-piece toy sets are out to help on the all-over-the-floorness as well.
  • Mac has no opinions (that guy will chew on anything!), but Henry tends to quickly notice when new toys show up.  It helps him really see the toy again.  And then he actually plays with it.  It could just be him getting older, but I think he has a longer attention span with just a few toys out.  The other day, a sweat band came out of the toy closet.  Henry treated it like being reunited with an old friend.  He then spent quite a bit of time zinging the sweat band around the house.  Would said sweat band have garnered this enthusiasm if it were always in reach?  I can’t be sure, but I’m guessing not.
  • I always have something in reserve.  It’s been raining for days on end?  Ooo, look, new toys!!  I consider the toy reserve pretty sanity saving in these moments.  I also keep the coloring books, play doh, reusable stickers, and pipe cleaners tucked away to be deployed as needed, although Henry is now tall enough to reach this drawer so I may need to rethink the location.
  • It helps me see what toys to purge.  There are some toys that I haven’t rotated because they are kind of duds.  If a toy isn’t making it out of the closet, I should probably move it along.

But doesn’t Henry notice when his toys are gone?  Yes.  Sometimes.  But not as much as you’d think.  I haven’t attempted to rotate some of the most favorite toys.  Heaven forbid should the matchbox cars go on holiday.  But usually he just enjoys what is there.

When he asks about the truant toys, sometimes he is satisfied with “Dump truck isn’t out right now.”  Other times, I’ve made a rotation on the spot.  I’m hoping that is what the system will be someday.  A collaboration between us and them on having the toys they want without having toys everywhere.  I know I’m not the only one who has such a system.

I’ve had moments of hope.  The other day, Henry, unprompted by me, offered to exchange his moto for Thomas Train.  Yesssss, I thought.  This could work!  Then the next morning he raged hard that his moto was missing.  Sigh.  But at least I didn’t have to go far to retrieve the moto.

This system may not be a good fit for us forever.  But I’m definitely enjoying it for now.

Do you rotate?  Confine the toys to a certain location?  Any toy containment tips?

 

Opportunity Cost

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My grandmother passed away last week.  Her funeral was on Sunday.  I wasn’t there.

She was 94.  When she got pneumonia and then developed a MRSA infection, we knew it did not look good.  I was sad, but it was easy to rationalize things from a distance.  She’s 94.  She’s lived a good life.  These things happen.

Then I talked to my sister.  I talked to my Mom.  I felt the tears that I had been avoiding.  I couldn’t rationalize anymore.

We knew when we got the call that we would have to move quickly.  Would I go?  Take the kids?  Just take Mac?  All of us go?  Gulp, not go?

See, Mac is still nursing.  Because I didn’t go back to work this time, I haven’t been pumping.  I don’t have a freezer full of milk.  I have a baby who isn’t used to bottles.  (Although I guess he could just use a sippy cup.)  I knew there would be a cost to this approach.  I thought it would be not straying too far from the baby for about a year.  I didn’t fully understand that it would mean wrestling a 20 pound octopus on an overseas flight with two connections . . . or . . . missing my grandmother’s funeral.

I tried practicing with Mac.  Holding him in my lap.  We could make it about five minutes.  I just couldn’t imagine the flight by myself.

I couldn’t imagine leaving him either though.  I couldn’t help thinking if only he was just a tiny bit older.  Or if only he was a few months younger and could sit there like a newborn lump.

I got mad.  Mad at myself.  How did I get myself into this situation where I couldn’t leave him or go with him?  Why am I so scared of my own kid?  People do this and much much harder things every day.  “Why can’t you do this?” I berated myself over and over.

James and I talked through all the scenarios.  We talked about jet lag.  Car seats.  Ability to sit together on the plane.

And in the end, we decided not to go.  We had justifiable reasons.  But I can’t help thinking that they feel like excuses.  I think it was probably the right call.  But I feel crummy about it.  I won’t be able to let this go for awhile.

I wanted to be there to honor my Grandmother.  I wanted to be there for my dad.  I wanted to be there for the rest of my family.  I wanted to be able to cry and grieve with the people who loved her and then laugh and help each other build ourselves back up.

We talked about my Grandmother a lot this weekend.  I showed the boys pictures.  It still doesn’t quite feel real.

I’ve included her obituary below, but I’d like to tell you a little about my Grandmother.  She was a very special lady.  She was a nurse, and told me once that the doctor on her floor called her Mac, a name I’ve passed on to my own little guy.  She raised four children.  She loved a lot of grandchildren.  She loved my grandfather dearly, and she has been without him the last 20 years.  Even though my boys won’t remember it, I’m so glad they got to meet her.  I’m glad she was able to meet them.

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My sister and I loved spending a week with my grandparents each summer.  She taught us how to quilt.  We went on long walks.  My grandmother loved being outside.  She would soak up the warmth like her body temperature depended on it.  She gardened.  The beach was her happy place.

Whenever you said you were going somewhere, she’d say “bring me a rock.”  See, she collected rocks.  People brought her rocks from all over.  She didn’t really have them labeled or separated, but when you presented her with a rock, it was like you were giving her the world.  It could be a cobblestone from Rome or a rock from a local park; she loved them all.

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I haven’t brought her rocks the last few years.  She downsized when she moved into an assisted living facility.  She downsized again when she moved to a higher care floor.

This weekend, Henry handed me a rock.  Instead of letting it fall from my hands, I put it in my pocket.  And I’ll keep putting rocks in my pocket wherever we go.  And when we do get to go home, I will bring my grandmother fists fulls of rocks.

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Carolyn Crabtree McAllister Moose

Newberry, SC
February 14, 1921 – March 11, 2015

Carolyn Crabtree McAllister Moose, 94, was born on Valentine’s Day, Feb 14, 1921, in Mt. Pleasant, NC.  She was the daughter of the late Col. George Franklin McAllister, Headmaster of Mt. Pleasant Collegiate Institute, and Ethelyn Crabtree McAllister, educator at Mount Amoena Seminary also in Mt. Pleasant.

She was predeceased by two sisters, Virginia McAllister Smith and Elizabeth McAllister Boozer, and two brothers, Franklin Grady McAllister and Thomas Caswell McAllister.

Her formal education included Newberry College, Presbyterian Hospital School of Nursing, and graduation from Queens College with a BS in nursing.  Following her work as an obstetrical supervisor at Presbyterian Hospital in Charlotte, N.C., she married the late Harry Edwin Moose on March 16, 1946.  She moved to Newberry, SC and was blessed with four children, Harry, Jr. (Karen), Jan (Stuart Ballard), Tommy (Jane) and Richard (Gail).  These children provided Carolyn with 11 grandchildren and 17 great grandchildren.  She is also survived by a brother-in-law, Ralph H. Moose.

Carolyn devoted her life to her husband and family, participating in all activities from church to school to music to all things Clemson.

She also enjoyed yard work, traveling, cross stitching, and quilting, making a special quilt for each of her children and grandchildren.

She was a devoted, active member of Lutheran Church of the Redeemer serving as a choir member for many years.

Carolyn’s love of her family and people was her cornerstone in life.  She truly believed she was that person who wanted to live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to all.

For those who wish to honor Carolyn, the family suggests donations be made to the Organ Fund of Lutheran Church of the Redeemer, 1515 Boundary St., Newberry, SC 29108 or to the Eastern Cabarrus Historical Society, 1100 Main St. N, Mt. Pleasant, NC 28124, which serves to preserve Mount Pleasant Collegiate Institute main building and library.

Active pallbearers will be Henry Brock, Tom Hegele, Brent Ballard, Mark Ballard, Stephen Moose, Brandon Moose, Don Whittington and Billy Moose.

Honorary pallbearers will be members of the Francis I. Fesperman Sunday School Class and members of the choir of Lutheran Church of the Redeemer.

How to drink water like a Roman

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In restaurants, frizzante or gassate.  (If you want to skip the bubbles, order acqua naturale.)

On the streets, from fountains.  No joke.  Unless otherwise labeled, the fountains here all contain potable water.  Same water that runs into your taps at home.  James still talks about the time he saw a little old lady set down her market bags and walk straight into the fountain in front of the Spanish steps to take a few sips of water.  It’s a thing.  Drink up.

If you don’t have a fountain close by (the horror), look for a nasone.  The nasoni are the drinking fountains of Rome.  (Read a little more here if you want back story.)

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The water here is safe and delicious.  We use a Brita at home to try to remove some of the calcium, but the water certainly won’t damage you on a visit.  The kiddos get supplemented with fluorated water, as well as fluoride drops.

Water flows out of the nasoni in perfect fashion to fill up your trusty water bottle.  If you want to use it like a water fountain, no need to crawl underneath.  See that hole on the top of the faucet?  If you cover up the end, the water will shoot out the hole.  #instantRomanstreetcred

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Sometimes water flows out of a nasone all the time.

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Sometimes the nasone doesn’t have enough pressure and nothing comes out.  Womp womp.

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Sometimes the nasone has a knob so YOU can control your own water destiny.

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I can’t say whether nasoni are all over Italy, but I have seen them outside of Rome.  The nasone above was spotted at our trip to Hadrian’s Villa.  The one below–also the fanciest nasone I’ve encountered–we found in Tuscany outside San Gimignano.

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EEEEEEeeagle

So before you come over, particularly if it is a hot weather trip–aka March – November, do yourself a favor and download a nasoni finder app or iMap.  That cold, refreshing water will be the perfect addition to your water bottle.

And if you are feeling really crazy, slurp up some H2O at your nearest fancy fountain.  The other tourists may think you are nuts, but Romans will give you a knowing nod.  (OK, that would be very un-Roman, but they are TOTALLY thinking how cool you are.  Don’t be surprised when they come up to ask for directions because they think you are one of them.)

Just try not to fall in.

5 Things I Wish I’d Known When Going Back to Work After Baby

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3.10_henry

It’s hard.  Whether you are going back after a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, going back to work after welcoming your bundle of joy is tough.  Your body is still healing, you are faced with the delightful choice of putting on the maternity clothes AGAIN or stuffing your body into your prebaby duds, and you will be spending a bit less time with your new arrival.

Even if you are psyched about the prospect of picking up where you left off or just enjoying conversations with other adults that don’t revolve around poop–no judgment here–change is hard.  Going back to work is definitely a change.  On top of that oh, you know, no-big-deal-you-just-produced-another-human-being change.

Here a few tips to help you keep your sanity during this super fun time.  I certainly don’t have anything figured out, but I wish I’d thought of these before.

1. Just go ahead and get some labels already.

If your child is going to be cared for in any setting that will involve multiple children, just get some nice labels.  After months of cobbling together schemes of permanent marker and painters tape, we finally got some Mabel’s Labels.  I immediately wondered why I had not done this sooner.  See, for daycare, you have to label EVERYTHING.  Bottles, bottoms AND lids.  Pacifiers.  Sippy cups.  Onesies.  Shoes.  I heard of a friend’s daycare where you actually had to label individual diapers.  Say what?

I would do things like, of course, label the spare outfit, but then forget to label the outfit the baby was wearing, which was much less obviously your baby’s once it was removed.  Just do it.  Invest in some labels.  The ones we got have survived eleventy billion dishwasherings and umpteen laundryings.  It will keep your daycare providers from silently, politely cursing you out and from you losing that one Ralph Lauren ensem you got as a gift.  (Aside: labels are a great gift for a new baby.  They would make a great shower gift, except no one shares that name anymore.)

2. Think about a schedule.

That’s right.  I said it.  The controversial “s” word.  This one applies to babies that are more in the months-old rather than weeks-old stage.  If you aren’t into schedules, that is totally cool.  Do you.  But I posit that it is less stressful to hand your baby over when you can provide clear guidance on what the baby likes.  At least for me, being able to say “he eats around 11:00 and around 3:00” was more calming than having to say “oh, just feed him whenever you think he seems hungry.”  You know your baby better than anybody.  Being able to share some of that knowledge can give you peace of mind.  Also, some daycares have schedules they do for all the kids.  It’s worth checking on to see if you should be working toward that schedule.

And I don’t just mean schedule for the baby.  Think about your schedule.  You and your partner have to now–on a daily basis–perform a coordinated operation on the level of planning of some military attacks, just to get your baby out the door and back in.  (This applies less if you have a nanny or someone coming to you.)  First, think about what makes sense given your work.  Do you always have a client calling you at 5:00 pm?  Maybe pick up is not for you.  Dreading the psychological toll of drop off every day?  Maybe you can negotiate with your partner and do pick up.  Doing extra stuff (aka retrieving your very precious cargo) on top of your work day is hard.  Think about how you can do this as painlessly as possible.

Also, make a plan for getting out the door.  For a long time, I had a post it on our front door with a list of what was needed each day for the baby.  It did not prevent all failures, but I’d like to think it helped on some.  If your partner is in charge of dropping off a stroller so that you can walk home with the baby, you don’t want to just leave that to chance.  (Or vice versa of course.)

In addition to making a plan for the stuff, plan on the time suck.  I swear there is a time vortex that eats about 15 minutes between when I lock my house door and get in the car.  I don’t know where the time goes, but the vortex is real and that time is gone forever.  You cannot prevent the vortex, but knowing is half the battle.

3. Make a plan for washing ALL THAT STUFF.

You are probably already accustomed to an uptick on the laundry front. If you have to dress up for work, I recommend waiting until the very last minute to put on your fancy clothes and then taking them off immediately upon setting foot back in the door.  This will save on laundry and dry cleaning.  Trust.

Now on top of the laundry, be prepared to tackle things in the kitchen.  If you have a young baby, that probably means bottles.  If you are pumping, that also means pump parts.  Even with nifty sterilization bags and trays and whatnot, you still have to go through several steps that you did not have to do before.  This is eating into your work or family or TV or whatever time.  Make a plan with your partner.  I don’t know how to make it take less time, but expecting that it will take time can save your sanity.  I also don’t know how to make it fun, but throw in a podcast or glass of wine and it is practically “me” time.  Snort.

4. You found childcare you like?  Great, GET MORE.

You can plan for the known.  You should also plan for the known unknowns.  Right now this means snow days and sick days. You don’t know when they are coming, but they are definitely barreling your way.

I don’t have a good answer for this; it was an area where I failed.  Who will watch a sick kid without notice and who can get to you in the snow anyway?  But, especially if you don’t have family close by, you should try in case your boss still believes in deadlines even when day care is closed.

At least talk about a plan with your partner because this will come up.  Some services watch sick kids.  Your work may have a suggestion.  This would be a good time to make friends with the neighbors as well.  On snow days, maybe you guys could trade watching kids so that you could each at least get a half day of work in.

Also, if your work offers any sort of possibility to work remotely, make sure you have that all set up and ready to go.  You don’t want to wait until there is ice on the road and your kid is streaming snot to find out your VPN fob is only a decorative key chain.

5. Expect it to suck for awhile.

You may hate the first day.  You may hate the first week.  Don’t make any snap decisions.  I’ll grudgingly admit our moms were right; time does help.  It takes awhile to settle into any new routine.  Give it some time.

You are returning to work a changed person.  Your world has been turned upside down and put back together with gummy smiles and spit up.  But you are returning to a world where little has changed.  Your colleagues, who may have been covering your TPS reports while you were out, are likely dealing with the same problems, same clients, and same everything.  They just don’t understand how fully your world has been rocked.

Maybe it will be smooth sailing.  But I say to treat it as I advise all my friends interested in breastfeeding:  expect it to be the worst thing ever and be pleasantly surprised if it isn’t.  If you are a month or two in and everything is awful, maybe think about some other options.  But remember, give it some time.

How was your transition?  Any other tips?

Shut it down

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Dear Mac,

You are now 10 months old.  I know this is how things work, but if you could please slow. it. down.  For some reason, 9 months felt OK, but 10 months feels so incredibly close to ONE YEAR.  Not OK.  Shut it down, please and thank you.

You haven’t shown the slightest interest in crawling, but I think you would stand all day if you could.  You’ve started getting cocky.  Look, Ma, one hand!  Look, Ma, no hands!  Sometimes this works.  Most times it does not.  You are taking a few tentative steps with your feet.  Nothing in a purposeful direction yet, but I think the days when I hunch over so you can “walk” around the playground are near.  My back is sore just thinking about it, but I am excited for you.

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Holding you is like trying to wrestle an octopus; you are always trying to wriggle out of our grasp.  Changing time is when you most want to roll.  You have perfected the screaming back arch.  This makes putting you in high chairs, strollers, and car seats much more interesting.  You caught my throat the other day doing this.  That’s a hard head, son.  Feel free to also shut this down.

You have so much hair!  Once I realized how cute your hat hair is, I try to mess it up on purpose now.  You sort of look like a Tweety Bird.  I love it.

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Tooth #2 is staring to make an appearance.  Also at an odd angle.  I will not be surprised if braces are in your and your brother’s futures.  You haven’t complained too much about all the teething.  You do things like suck on your palm and chew on your hand; it seems to provide you some relief.

You have complained about being sick.  After your first bout with illness, you have had another thanks to Henry’s day care aka a kiddo petri dish.  We’ve all been a little sick.  You seemed to be holding off, but now you’ve succumbed.  Your poor cough rattles your little body, and you sound like a two-pack-a-day smoker.  Your nose is running, and you HATE to have it wiped.  I wish I could fix these things for you; I really do.  We even had a family visit to the doctor, but nothing to be done.  Hopefully you will be snot free and chipper soon.

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We were making progress on Operation Sleep-Through-the-Night, but your illness has set us back.  I can’t do any tough love when you sound like a whole pack of barking dogs.  Poor baby.

You are eating three solid meals a day.  You seem to love all food.  Clementines are one of your current faves. I’m psyched that we all eat the same breakfast together now, eggs + fruit or sweet potato or something.  I see you pincer, but you are also a pro at stuffing food into your meaty manos.  You’ll eat merrily along and only later will we realize that you have two puffs and a hunk of apple tightly grasped in your fist.  You can drink out of a sippy cup, but you also enjoy “drinking” from it upside down, smashing food with it, etc.  You have started a super fun new game of throw my fork on the ground and see if Mommy picks it up.  This too, shut it down, thanks in advance.

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Your fierce devotion to your brother continues.  He has started unpromptedly bringing you toys on occasion, and it makes my heart smile.  He also unpromptedly continues to tackle you.  Sometimes you like this.  Many times not.  (Henry, seriously, shut it down.)

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Despite your sniffles, you continue to be our easy-going, joyful little guy.  Your eyes light up when I walk into a room.  You enthusiastically reach for our hands at the blessing before dinner, blessing our hands with smears of food.  You sing and talk and love to look around and see what is going on.  You have started helping a bit when I get dressed and shifting your toy from one hand to another.  Your “move” is sticking out your pointer finger and trying to jam it in peoples’ mouths.  Sometimes Henry is game, but this is confusing for him.  How can he honor the strict “Don’t bite Mac” policy when you are literally stuffing your fingers in his mouth?

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Looking forward to helping you toddle and showing off your chunky thighs as it warms up.  Sigh, even if it means getting older.

Love, Mom

P.S.  More Mac at 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 8 months, and 9 months.