The other day I was listening to a podcast where one of the hosts mentioned having excellent sleep hygiene as a goal for 2017. (I would link it here, but I don’t remember at all which one it was. Maybe Balanced Bites?)
Sleep hygiene, of course, being things like no screens before bed, going to bed at a certain time, having your room pitch black and interruption free, etc.
My kiddos need better sleep hygiene.
Thanks to a friend’s recommendation, I recently completed Gretchen Rubin’s Better Than Before. (Funnily enough, she read it because she thought I recommended it to her. A sure sign I should pick it up.)
Earlier this summer, we did a lot of trips. We went to Puglia. We did overnights at Lake Bracciano, a castle outside of Montepulciano, and over in Umbria for our trip to Cortona and Assisi. We did day trips to Turin and Ostia Antica and plenty of other places that I’m forgetting. We recovered in July and hit the States in August. Now I’m gearing up for another travel bonanza.
Anywho, I’ve been realizing that these trips had some stand-out-travel-all-stars that made them pretty awesome.
You know how sometimes you start to feel a teeny tiny bit like you have some inkling of what you are doing some of the time? And then the parenting gods laugh in your face and smite your smile away and you are left to pick up the pieces of your broken schedule that is being stomped on by cranky tots?
No? Just me?
Anyways, that’s where I am now. After we recovered from jet lag from our recent trip Stateside, I thought things were back to business as usual. Then two things happened that rocked my little world.
First, Henry discovered that he can climb out of his crib. I know. Like you, I am also pretty shocked that it took him this long. He probably could have been doing this a year ago.
And I’m all, now what?? Do we accept that this is happening and put the toddler side on his crib? Move him to the bed? His climbing actually looks pretty safe so I’m not as worried about him hurting himself. I just need to figure out how to convince him to stay put during the night. And probably do a little more childproofing for when he doesn’t. I am definitely not used to having Henry pop up in unexpected places, and the sound of his bedroom door busting open is starting to haunt my dreams.
Second, Henry is trying to drop his nap. And my efforts at getting him to have “quiet time” on his own have been mixed. Not cool. I mean, I always knew this day would come, but I’m not ready. Some of it is for me. Without nap time, I may never get anything done ever again. But part of it is for him. He still seems pretty tired. So now I didn’t get a break, and I’m dealing with a crankypants kiddo. #winning
Needless to say, I’m feeling a little knocked off my game. It doesn’t help that I am still in vacation mode. Staying up too late. Extra glass of wine at night. Skimping on exercise. I know exactly what I need to do to feel better. I just haven’t gotten there yet. I’ll work on returning to reality after the holiday weekend. Probably. Definitely. Maybe.
Since I was a little out of it this morning, I decided a pick-me-up was in order.
For a shot of happy, I’d normally hit up a friend for cappuccino after dropping Henry at school, but people either have guests or are out of town or working or some such today. And I didn’t feel like chasing Mac around the cafe all by myself.
Mac and I stopped at the store. Instead of just the usual groceries, I added some heavy cream. And at the checkout, I picked up a four-pack of my favorite Kinder chocolate.
When we got home, I made some seriously weak coffee because we were all of out of decaf. Then I poured in a tad bit of heavy cream. And then Mac and I split the chocolate. (Mac had no complaints on this plan.)
Then Mac and I went to go play. Although I was late to the podcast party, I’ve been turning on podcasts in the background lately when Mac and I party down. I find that I can still read books and have dance parties and toss balls just fine, but it adds a little interest for me.
But today instead of a podcast, I decided to break out some bigger guns. I fired up Netflix and put on a comedy special in the background. (John Mulaney’s New in Town was the winner.)
Aside: for the moment, I listen to saltier materials when it is just me and Mac. I guess that will change soon when Mac masters “ball” and “mama” and then goes straight to F-bombs. Isn’t it funny how kids make you notice profanity? After watching Macklemore’s new video for Downtown, I showed it to Henry because I thought he would like the mopeds. I remember it being OK. It was NOT OK. I should have expected the language, but I somehow missed it. Parenting FAIL.
Aside Aside: How fabulous is Eric Nally in the Downtown video? He is my new fashion icon, and I am not kidding in the slightest.
And so it was that after a treat and some laughs, I left to pick up Henry with a smile on my face and enough energy to want to write a blog post.
As for Henry, we reached a tenuous compromise today. I told him that if he stayed in his crib–reading books or whatever–for an hour that he could get out and watch TV. There was some fighting when he wanted to go straight to TV, but eventually he caved. The hour alarm just went off, but guess who is fast asleep . . .
What is your go to cheap pick-me-up? Do you also love the video for Downtown? And any advice on this sleeping thing? How do you get your children to stay where you put them? Or is that just the most naive thing I’ve ever typed?
OK, enough of my son’s adorable ramblings. Let’s get back to the business at hand. (But this morning he asked to put on his sun scream. I know!) AHEM, back to the business.
The business, of course, being the 30 Day EVERYTHING Challenge. I promised you guys results. Let’s chat results.
But first, for those of you just joining, let’s relive the glory days with a quick recap.
What am I talking about? Here is where I lay out the challenge.
How did it feel? (FEEEeeelings) Check out my real time diaries and report cards here and here.
What worked? This is where I do my best to put on my responsible adult thinking hat and consider what I liked and what I didn’t.
OK, NOW down to business. But first, I wanted to chat a little about why I did this challenge.
I could say that I did it for the kids. I could tell you how I want more energy to keep up with them and to feel better so that I can be a more patient and awesome mom. And I DO want those things, but that isn’t why I did it. The kids certainly don’t care what size I am. And I’m sure I can always improve in the patience/energy/awesome category, but that is just side gravy.
I could tell you I did it for James. That guy did marry me for my hot bod, after all. (Snort.) And James does support me and want me to look and feel my best however I decide that is. But nope.
I did it for me.
You see, since moving here or probably since Mac was born, I’ve felt a little less “me-like.” Don’t get me wrong. I love Love LOVE the time I’m getting to spend with the kids. I’m having a blast exploring a new country and continent.
But sometimes I feel like my mom hat dwarfs any other hat I have. I usually only leave the house completely by myself once a week, if that. I don’t spend tons of time on myself or doing things for myself.
This challenge helped me take care of myself better. It helped make me more of a priority. The kids are very high on the list, but I matter too. I should be taken care of as well.
I’m enjoying the morning time I’ve carved out for myself to exercise and to think and to do whatever I want. I’m enjoying feeling good getting out of bed in the morning. I’m also enjoying access to more of my pre-baby wardrobe. So yay! “Me” is pleased.
And now for realz, BIDNESS.
Are you guys ready to see the results?
I mean truly shocking before and afters??
Hold on to your butts.
Keep scrolling.
Scrolling.
BAM.
As you can see, the difference with clothes is subtle, if noticeable at all. (My doofusness has not changed a bit.) I admit that some sort of side-by-side photos would have been ideal and photos actually showing my body would have been better, but I’m only a mere mortal and not a Biggest Loser contestant. I don’t need any bikini photos on the internets, thank you very much.
I can tell you that I dropped a clothing size. For example, these pants definitely didn’t fit before. Also, I’ve moved to the smaller size of my ONE SHIRT TO RULE THEM ALL. Oh, and I got a hair cut.
Fuzzy shot, check. Dirty mirror, check. Rando toddler shoe, check and check.
And the numbers don’t lie. I followed whole30 protocol and didn’t weigh myself at all during the challenge. But, boy, was I excited to whip out that scale on day 31. (Since then I’ve weighed myself once, but I’m trying not to get back into the every day habit. It’s about feeling good; not about a number.)
And again, I hope you guys will forgive me for not sharing raw numbers. First, the internets just don’t need to know my weight. Second, these are my numbers and I’m happy, but I don’t want anyone to get hung up on them. Your numbers are probably different and they are your story and that’s what matters, ya know?
But I will share the delta. James took before, mid-way, and after measurements. I realized later that he left very helpful, scientific reminders like “top of crack” for my hip measurement so that he would hit the same place again. (He also measured in centimeters because he has gone FULL Italian, but he claims it was for more accuracy.)
Interestingly, probably almost 75% of the changes occurred in the first two weeks. Except for my waist which actually was lower at mid-point measure than final. I guess I was feeling bloaty that day. Or, you know, ALL THOSE ABS.
So yeah. That happened. In just 30 days. It could have been any of the factors (whole30) or the whole combination (whole30), but results were had. I know some people would think a whole30 is extreme, but I’ve never found a way to get such significant results in such a short period of time. This approach works for me. Seeing big changes makes me more motivated to keep it up. If I tried to adopt a “be reasonable” approach for six months, I doubt I’d see any difference because I’d never be able to stick to it.
Those are the “sexy” changes. Let’s talk about some other changes.
SKIN
OK, here I really should have taken some before pictures. But in my haste to get the party started, I didn’t think through all the details. So NO PICS FOR YOU, said in my no soup for you voice.
And because we do not have hard evidence, my response is wishy washy, but I think my skin is better. Although this could be a halo effect from just feeling better generally and thinking I look better. But when I touch my face, it feels, uh, plumper. I don’t know, but it definitely feels a little different. I can at least report that eating good fats, washing your face, and drinking water are not deleterious for your skin and probably definitely at least a little help.
SLEEP
As you guys saw, I failed BIG TIME on bedtime alarm. Despite this, I’m feeling more rested. First, even if I’m not going to sleep at 2200, I am going to sleep earlier than I had been so that’s a win.
Also, I’m getting higher quality sleep. I fall asleep faster, and I usually never wake up in the middle of the night, barring child screaming, of course. Even post challenge, I’ve been waking up on my own around 600, ready to start the day.
MOOD
You could ask James for confirmation, although he would probably insist that I am delightful all the time because he is a smart cookie, but I would say there has been definite mood improvement. I still feel overwhelmed by the kids at various points every day and my mind spins with a million things I need to do but can’t because Mac will RAGE if I stop walking him around. But I feel better. I really do.
FOOD
My urge to snack has diminished. Sometimes it is still there. Sometimes I just want to put food in my mouth. But I think it is more under control. I’m better able to gauge when I really want something versus just eating it because it is there.
A lot of food tastes better. Although I still just can’t seem to love red peppers, much to James’s chagrin. He loves that shizz.
I plan to keep cooking whole30 at home and then not worry as much when we go places because convenience food on the whole30 is a fantastical pink unicorn. I’m also hoping to keep my booze consumption for special, out-of-the-house occasions. Last night I had one glass of wine at date night. We’ll see how this goes.
But what about BAD changes, you ask
I can’t really think of any. Possibly my current paranoia that eating gluten will derail my whole way of life. Or my questionable fashion taste now that I am combining more clothes. Or needing to pee more from all the water and not being able to. See Mac raging when I ask him politely to let go of my hand. But seriously, I can’t really think of anything.
30 days, all gain. W00t!
Any other questions on results? Aside from my weight, I’m happy to share! And then I promise to shut up about the 30 Day EVERYTHING Challenge for a bit. Probably.
“Break the cycle. You’ve got to break the cycle.”
Wise words from a wise friend who visited in December.
I knew she was right. I just didn’t know how to snap out of it.
What’s my cycle? It goes a little something like this. I wake up usually a bit tired and out of it. I make it through the day with the kids that is equal parts fun and obliteratingly exhausting. After dinner prep, bedtime prep, cleanup, etc. I collapse into a chair with a glass of wine. The wine tastes pretty good, and I think of a snack that will go well with it. Maybe popcorn. Cheese. Chocolate. I run out of wine before I run out of snack which means I need to get more wine. I stay up too late and then stay up even later reading. Repeat.
On the one level, I understood that there were things that would make me feel better. Like exercising. Sleeping more. Not eating crap. I just couldn’t do these things. I was too tired to do things to make me less tired. A vicious cycle.
After one of our rounds of guests, I was completely knocked on my booty. That week I did all the things. I ate all the things. I drank all the things. I stayed up too late. It was a bad scene, man.
I finally decided that I’d had enough. I knew what I needed to do. Mac finally mostly started sleeping through the night. I was out of excuses. It was time to make a change.
I scoured the internet for things to make me feel better. It isn’t rocket science though. Exercise. Sleep. Good food.
Instead of incremental change though, I decided to make a bunch of changes at once. That’s me. All or nothing. Weird, I know.
These are the 12 challenges I settled on to improve my health and mood.
1) Ab Challenge
I decided to add in some exercise. My sister mentioned a 30 day ab challenge she did. It sounded perfect. Four exercises? I can do that.
2) Plank Challenge
I was reading again somewhere about how planks are supposed to be the best exercise ever. So why not a plank challenge! Just planking? That’s all I have to do? (Never mind that the ab challenge also includes planks.) How hard can it be? (You can stop snickering now, thank you very much.)
3) Steps
I know what you’re thinking. Well, these challenges are all well and good so far, but what about cardio? I hear you. I’d like to start running again, but that just seems really hard right now. Not just the running part but the making time to run and washing my hair more and all of that good stuff. Maybe running on the next challenge?
I decided to locate my Jawbone Up and at least track some steps. Our lifestyle involves a good bit of walking here. They add up. I forget what the thing is set for, but I think it is a little over three miles.
4) Get Up Early
If I’m going to do all this exercise, I need to find time to do it. I really want to reclaim my mornings. I used to be a morning person. (An extreme morning person, actually.) Now I can barely get up by 7:30, which seems laughably late.
Besides having some “me time,” I want to add some purpose. I want to wake up for my life and not just to my life.
5) Whole30
Regular readers probably could have guessed this was coming. I halfheartedly attempted a whole30 a few months ago, but I only made it ten days. It’s so hard, I whined to myself. This is Italy! I can’t give up wine. And cheese. And bread. And pasta.
Yes. I can. It is time.
6) Drink 8 Glasses of Water Each Day
Once upon a time when I worked in an office, I had zero problems drinking enough water. The water sat in front of me. I drank it. Bathroom break and refill water bottle. Repeat.
Now we move around all over. I try to get at least a glass with meals, but I’m hurting on the in between times.
It’s just water. How hard can it be? Besides, I’ll need something to replace that wine I’m missing . . .
7) 5 Minutes of Meditation Each Day
I feel like I’m always seeing articles about how to revolutionize your life in just a few minutes per day that tout meditation as being the end all be all answer. I remember a day frantically googling meditation articles at biglaw and trying it out, but I think that only lasted two days. (Spoiler alert: I still felt stressed.)
I guess there are many different ways to meditate, but I remember my twelfth grade english teacher telling us that one method would be to sit quietly, be conscious of all the noises in the room, and try to hold them at the same level in your head. I could try that. Worse case scenario, I can sit quietly with my own thoughts for a few minutes. Couldn’t hurt; might help?
8) 20 Second Real Hug
I laughed at some relationship challenges I found in my search of the internets. Go see a concert with your partner. Hahahaha. Basically, it was like a string of 30 date nights. My lifestyle does not support that right now.
BUT then my friend posted something on the benefits of a 20 second hug. I like James. I like hugging him. I hate to need a challenge to make this a more regular thing, but there you are.
9) Real Kiss
On the subject of James, I also decided to throw in a real kiss as well. Not a peck on the way out the door. Not a hi-honey-how-was-your-day. A real kiss.
10) Wash My Face at Night
That same wise hugging friend? She is a beauty products dynamo. I recently emailed her about my beauty routines, or lack thereof. Her response: “you don’t wash your face at night???”
I know. But I haven’t. My mineral makeup doesn’t seem to cause breakouts (and seems to have worn off by the end of the day). I just get eye makeup all over the pillow.
But this is something adults do. And my face is not getting any younger. I need to build some better routines.
11) Floss
Speaking of better routines, we dentisted recently and I was reminded once again about the importance of flossing. (I was also reminded to spread the toothpaste on the chewing surfaces of my teeth first and to only brush up and down. You’d think I’d have figured out toothbrushing in 30 odd years, but no.)
James has actually been gangbusters at flossing lately. I think 99% of his success is overcoming the “out of sight, out of mind” hurdle. Instead of tucking the floss away (as I would prefer), it sits front and center on the shelf by the mirror.
Am I petty and ridiculous enough to consider this a competition? (Do I even need to answer that?) I REFUSE to let James win at teeth.
12) Bedtime Alarm
I need more sleep. This is known.
The known-ness of my actual bedtime? Not so much.
See, I usually “go” to bed around 10 or 10:30. But then I read. I think I’m reading for just a few minutes, but it’s not. It could be hours. I’ve actually stopped looking because I don’t even want to know.
To facilitate better habits, I’m setting bedtime alarms. My 2106 alarm is to alert me that it is time to get ready for bed. All that facewashing and flossing takes time, yo. The 2206 alarm is to shut it down. Put down the book. Go to bed. Unless, of course, I’m already sleeping in which case I’ll make sure to turn it off. (Snort.)
So there you have it! My twelve challenges for 30 days. I thought about adding in some other challenges, like a minimalism challenge, but I’ll save that stuff for another day.
But you want to know the best part about all of this?
I already did it! That’s right, instead of announcing and then failing, like my NaNoWriMo or my Whole30 attempt, I decided to do and then share.
So all this week I’ll be providing deets on how it went and how it all turned out. Stay tuned!
My only regret? Not doing it sooner. But I couldn’t. I just wasn’t ready.
Do you prefer gradual change or everything all at once? Tried to build any new habits in a month?
[This was written earlier. He’s not sick again.]
Poor little guy. My baby is having his first real illness. Fever, cough, and runny nose. My sleep-deprived little brain put together some thoughts from the baby as I went in to administer his first Tylenol of the day.
Hey, Mom. Mom. Mom. MOM. Where are you going? Don’t go! Let’s stay and cuddle. Come on, you look like you need this. You look tired and a little out of it and, dare I say, cranky?
Ah, that’s better. Weren’t you just saying how I never cuddle anymore? I know I’m all independent and #bossbaby all the time, but I still love you. Let’s have a cuddle. This one’s on me.
Ooo, the rocker. Good call. Let’s get comfortable. Not there. Uh, not there. Ah, yes. That’s better, right? I mean, I’m really comfortable! Your arm is kind of at a funny angle, but you aren’t moving so we’re cool, right?
You have a lovely singing voice. Were you classically trained? NO?!? Well, it’s beautiful. Don’t ever stop. Haha, just kidding. OK, not really. Don’t stop. Did I say stop?
Isn’t this nice? It’s just like when I was really little and we used to cuddle and watch crap TV and you felt kinda guilty about sending my brother to day care so that we could cuddle and watch crap TV. It went pretty fast didn’t it?
Haha, nice try, Mom. I know you think I want to be put back in my crib, but I am willing to make this sacrifice FOR YOU. Don’t put me down. You need this cuddle. I’ll let you cuddle me instead of getting beauty sleep back in my crib. It’s just my generous nature. That’s right. I’m a giver.
Is it time for more Tylenol yet? No? Well, that’s OK. We’ll get through this day together, Mommy. Promise. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I’ll never leave your side! My brother can take care of himself I’m sure. Toddlers are known for their resilience and ability to entertain themselves. You and me. Let’s have a cuddle.
Roman Reboot 