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Prepare an awesome dinner that somehow manages to fuse with your favorite pan in an unholy mixture of meat and metal.
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Soak the pan after it cools.
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Skip away while husband cleans the kitchen.
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Silently curse husband for leaving the pan soaking overnight instead of tackling the beast.
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Leave pan sitting in sink all day.
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Repeat steps 3 – 5.
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Discuss the elephant pan situation with husband.
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Realize that his Herculean scrubbing efforts have all been in vain.
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Google remedies to save my favorite pan.
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Try simmering milk in pan.
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Simmer milk about two minutes too long.
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Realize that the baked on crud now includes milk residue and blackened meat marks.
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Try boiling water with detergent in pan.
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Scrub scrub scrub.
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Break out the sponge with the brillo side.
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Scrub scrub scrub.
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Remove most of the milk mess, but make very little dent in the OG disaster.
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Scrub with determination.
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Scrub with delusion.
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Start googling for new nonstick pan.
Category: Life
Two Super Sexy Tips to build a better To Do List
Let’s talk about something really sexy today. Say it with me. Information Capture. Oh, baby.
Hi, my name is Melissa, and I suffer from faulty information capture disorder.
I blame two things:
Henry is a hoot: Volume 5
Henry says some pretty hilarious things. I’ve been told that I used to say hilarious things once, but my parents didn’t write it down and cannot remember even one witty anecdote. Inspired by YHL’s Clara Conversations, I wanted to share some Henry-isms as I collect a critical mass.
Henry: What are you doing?
Me: Flossing.
Henry: What is flossing?
Me: I’m getting food out from in between my teeth.
Henry: You going to eat the food again?
Me: Uh, no.
Henry: Yeah. Gross.
Agree. Totes gross.
Henry: (From his crib) Mommy, where are you?
Me: (entering) Here I am!
Henry: No, I was saying “Wookiee where are you?”
I guess I’ll just go then.
Henry: (Upon receiving his dinner plate) Yeah boyyy!!!
So I guess less quoting Flavor Flav then . . .
Henry: You want to fight me?
Me: No. I’m a lover, not a fighter.
Henry: You love to fight?
Henry: That was a good one. (Said graciously after I accidentally–I swear!–pegged him in the head with a ball.)
James: Should I get fresh pajamas for the kids?
Me: I don’t care.
Henry: I love it.
Psst. Want more hilarious Henry? Check him out here, here, here, and here.
Kids are pretty much like little aliens
Captain’s Log, Stardate 47634.44
I have observed the life form now for the past 14.5 months. The last two months have brought unprecedented developmental changes in the being, hereinafter referred to as the Miniature Adult-like Creature, or M.A.C.
Henry is a hoot: Volume 4
Henry says some pretty hilarious things. I’ve been told that I used to say hilarious things once, but my parents didn’t write it down and cannot remember even one witty anecdote. Inspired by YHL’s Clara Conversations, I wanted to share some Henry-isms as I collect a critical mass.
Henry: (After tackling his brother and wrestling him to the ground) I’m baptizing Mac!
Henry: I want Mac’s cookie.
Me: No, that’s Mac’s.
Henry: Mac wants to share with me?
Me: No. No, he doesn’t.
Henry: Mac, you want me to hold that for you?
You have to admire his persistence.
Henry: I want to have a lot of money so that I can buy a Ferrari.
It’s good to have goals. I guess.
Henry: (Pointing at my bruises) What did we do to you?
What indeed, dear child. Parenting: a full contact sport.
Psst. Want more hilarious Henry? Check him out here, here, and here.
Happy birthday to Mac!
Guess who still refuses to crawl and is now one year old??
Mac had a pretty swell birthday. I mean, he didn’t tell me he enjoyed it or anything, but I think he had a good time. Recap on birthday numero uno below. Or just watch this video. It covers just about everything. Thanks Google+!
Mac woke up early so I didn’t get to run in and terrorize him with the birthday song, as per tradition. (For his recent birthday, James delighted in being awoken from a peaceful slumber with my phone pressed to his head blaring the birthday song. What can I say? We make birthdays special ’round here.) I did get to play Mac the song while he was sitting on the kitchen floor. At first, he was all “why are you guys just staring at me” but then he started his signature Mac dance bob.
Mac was fortunate to be able to celebrate with his grandparents. We took pics with the birthday banner.
Mac opened presents from thoughtful relatives, godparents, and friends. Henry “helped.”
We went on a birthday adventure. We took the subway for the first time to St. Paul Outside the Walls. Stunning and huge. More on this one later.
And the main event: cake! James made a chocolate cake with homemade frosting and a separate smash cake for the birthday boy.
He went for it. Instantly. No hesitation. Fistfuls of cake straight into his mouth. Like to the point I almost worried about needing to take it because he was eating so much cake. As if taking cake from a chocolate-covered cake demon would ever be advisable.
Before:
During:
After:
They were some of the happiest moments of his young life. Sadly, the high was followed by a definite low, as cleanup was inevitable. Mac howled while he took a shower, but I think he’d tell you it was worth it.
P.S. Want to relive the epic Mac saga? Mac at 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, 8 months, 9 months, 10 months, and 11 months.
What to wear to Rome this summer: 3 winning combos to beat the heat and get you into churches
OK, remember how I said that Romans are still bundled up in spring? Forget everything I said. Starting around May 1, everyone in Rome decided to acknowledge that temps are in the 80s and switched wardrobes, seemingly overnight. I see legs! Arms! Sometimes much more. The outfits are definitely interesting. I’ll have to try to capture some street style for you.
I’m glad for the switch. It has been over 90 the past few days, and it is only May. I’m a little leery of this summer. Because we arrived at the end of August, we did not get the full Roman summer experience.
All of this to be said, if you are coming to Rome in the summer, as many tourists do, expect to sweat. It can be pleasant in the shade with a breeze, but prolonged exposure in the direct sunlight is brutal.
Unfortunately, you can’t just pull out your easy summer dresses and call it day. Because CHURCHES. Many churches, most notably St. Peter’s, have a knees and shoulders must be covered dress code. Some churches don’t have it. Some churches don’t enforce it. But you don’t want to wait in line for an hour only to be turned away.
Here are three combos that will keep you comfortable in the sun and get you in wherever you want to go. These outfits also pass the Rome-test. I’ve seen versions of all of these on locals. Stick with these, and you won’t have to worry about sticking out as a tourist.
Option 1: Easy top + Lightweight Crazy Pants + Breezy Scarf
This outfit is my go to, and I’m not even worried about church access 99% of the time. It is just SO comfortable. The fun pants make me feel like I tried, but it feels like I’m walking around in my pajamas.
Not only do they feel like an actual outfit, but they are high on function. Want to climb on a bike in Borghese? No problem. Snagging a Vespa pic? No awkward shifting needed. Forgot to shave your legs because you have ALL the sightseeing to do? No sweat.
In theory, the pants could also provide some protection from the punishing Mediterranean sun and those annoying mosquitoes that won’t take a hint.
Also, I think crazy pants also look good with most jackets. Denim, leather, military, you name it. Many cardigans would work as well. Just in case you need a little more warmth at night when your trusty scarf isn’t cutting it.
Speaking of scarves, if you go for a tank option, the scarf is key. As you approach the church, drape it around, and bare shoulders no more! After many years of not knowing what to do with scarves, I am now fully obsessed. Besides being a go to nursing cover, they are like washable necklaces! Perfect for #kidlife. Also, if you pack fewer clothes, they can help you spice up your wardrobe. If I don’t wear different shirts in my normal life, you’d better believe I’m taking a minimalist approach to vacation packing. Seriously, though, who cares what thousands of strangers you’ll never see again think?
Rome is a great place to stock up on scarves, as well. I see them all over the streets for about three euro. Functional souvenir? Now you’re speaking my language.
When selecting your pants, go for a lightweight, breathable fabric. Pass on the polyester. I also steer clear of linen, but that is just because I don’t iron anything ever.
For style, I prefer the tapered leg, but you have about a bazillion options. Wide leg, harem, palazzo, gaucho, you name it.
If you don’t like colorful patterns, you can get the same comfiness with a solid pant. BUT if you ever felt like getting a little crazy in the pants department (name of Amy’s sex tape), this is a good town to try it. Seriously, I’ve seen drop-crotch harem paisley pants walking down the street. Just own it, and you can pants however you like. Yeah.

Old Navy has TONS of crazy pant options. A cheap way to test drive the style.

A wider leg option. Forever21 also has tons of pants. Another cheap way to dip your toe into the crazy pants waters.

Ooo, I want these. I love that joggers are having a moment. What are things I NEVER thought I’d say even two years ago.
Option 2: Maxi Dress or Skirt + Scarf
I don’t really do the maxi because, while I have many blessings, the gift of height is not one of them. Also, I’ve gotten so lazy that I can’t handle any dress that requires a special bra. So many of the cute dresses have spaghetti straps or some such tomfoolery.
But if you are into the maxi, this would be a great option for Rome. I’d look for one with side slits, possibly two for movement and breeziness. And remember! If you don’t have sleeves, don’t forget your scarf.

Side slits for breeze, and sleeves mean you don’t even need a scarf. I think this would be super cute with sporty sneaks. Sneakers and dresses are a thing now. The internet told me, and it never lies.
Option 3: Breathable Leggings + Tunic or Blousy Top
This option is also not at the top of my list, but I promise I see locals rocking it on the reg. On the one hand, there is high opportunity for crazy pants. On the other hand, fabric suctioned to my body does not sound cool and breezy. BUT, if you get athletic wear, those pants are supposed to breathe, right?
My other issue with blousy tops is that so many are sheer, which would make me reach for another layer, which sort of defeats the purpose. But, again, this is Rome. I have seen completely sheer shirts, lace shirts, crochet shirts, and shirts with holes cut to the waist; all worn with regular bras. (I have also seen many women exercising in regular bras, but this is another topic for another day.) Also, bum coverage should not be a concern. Do it if you are more comfortable, but I promise you won’t stick out.
Clicking the pics should take you to the products. Nothing affiliated; these are just things that caught my eye. Old Navy and Nordstrom are both having sales. (Although isn’t Old Navy always having a sale?)
So there you have it. My formula: easy top + crazy pants (or skirt) + scarf. Everything you need for your upcoming trip to Rome.
But Melissa! What about shoes??? You’ve forgotten the most important part!
I agree. Shoes can make or break your travel day. That’s why I’ll cover shoes soon in their own post. [UPDATE: Shoes HERE.] (And maybe dude style if I’m feeling ambitious.) Till then, may the crazy pants be with you!
Have you embraced the crazy pants? What’s your usual warm weather travel wardrobe?
ICYMI: mid May edition
On the blog:
If I had to pick a root cause of the difficulties of law firm life, this would be it.
Henry, still hilarious.
Food photos! (I just typed foot photos. For a split second, I thought about leaving it, but that would be super weird and gross.)
On the internets:
I heart tiny houses. Anyone want to build our own street like these guys?
Remember how I said that fava beans are definitely a thing right now? Here is a little more background. My version did not turn out so hot because apparently you have to shell them and then peel them? Oh, well, I tried.
Even if billables are bad, law firms do have very generous paid leave.
Happenings & Coming up:
I feel like this week went by fast. Henry actually made it to school all three scheduled days. I can’t even remember the last time that happened. Henry has also been biting his brother. Not cool, kid.
I’m not sure what the plan is for the weekend. I was thinking about a day trip to Comune di Sermoneta, but the weather is looking a little dicey. A friend also just alerted me to this sweet dino exhibit in Rome. Whatever we do, it will probably involve avoiding downtown Rome. Tourist season is ON. (And utility vests are definitely back BTW.)
Hope you have a great one!
You can’t beat the billable hour
I did well in law school. I know, I know, this is kind of bragging. But doing well in law school does not seem to be a marketable skill on its own so let’s give me this one thing.
What was my secret? (Besides hours and hours of hard work?) Let me tell you something shocking, particularly for those of you that know me well. After the first year, I stopped doing the reading.
Wait, what? How does an uptight, Type A person such as myself do such a thing? Simple. I realized that doing all the reading was not the best use of my time to get results.
Results in law school are grades. For the vast majority of classes, your grade comes down to one exam at the end of the semester. There are no pop quizzes along the way. No five page essays. There may be some amorphous participation component, but the real meat of the grade is your performance on this single exam.
To study for this exam, you outline all the material you learn, putting all the cases into neatly digestible bullets. This is what you see all the kids doing in every law school movie you ever watch. You might see study groups splitting up sections of outlining responsibility and then sharing.
The facts of (most) cases don’t really matter on their own. You read the case to see how some legal principle played out. This legal principle is what you need to know and what you put in your outline. The case is just an example.
The first year, I spent WAY too much time reading cases. I was so nervous about being cold called in class that I read each case like five times. (And it didn’t even really help that much when I was called on! It was like my mind blanked and I heard this rushing roar. It was never the collegial conversation about a case that I envisioned.) I don’t regret all of that case reading. It taught me how to read cases. How to dissect the procedural history and explanations and to see what matters. To do this, you have to read a lot of cases.
But then I discovered that, after your 1L year, cold calling is not the law of the land. At this point, professors have different tactics that they publish in advance. Some professors might have you on call one day a week. Or one day a semester. Some might give you an option to be super prepared for one week, but to be left alone the rest of the semester. Some might go down the alphabet so that you could roughly see when your number is up. Some still cold called. I tried to take classes based on rock star professors–I would take shoe law if an interesting professor taught it (wait, maybe shoe law actually sounds pretty interesting)–but I tended to shy away from straight cold call classes if I could.
I did the reading on days when I needed to; otherwise, I very lightly skimmed what was assigned and just enjoyed my time in class. It was such a relief. I could breathe again. I could pay attention to what was happening without feeling a sinking feeling and panic whenever the professor looked up. But then, after class, I spent the time I would have spent reading and dedicated it to my outline. I may have read some major sections of cases, but generally I just worked at plugging what we learned into a neat set of indents and bullets. Then by the end of the semester, I already had a full outline, ready to go. Because the outline, not the reading, was what mattered.
Doing well in law school did land me a job at a prestigious law firm. At the firm, I quickly realized that there was no such shortcut. No hack to promote efficiency. At the firm, you had to do excellent work. You couldn’t anger your colleagues. But the most important yardstick was the almighty billable hour.
You can’t fake the billable hour. You can’t hack it. The only way to do it is to put in the time. You are super productive and manage your energy wisely so you blow through everything on your to do list? Doesn’t matter. You still need to work the hours. You need to take on more work. No matter that this work might shift your balance so that you have too much work. After all, that memo you finished today is coming back to you later this week for edits. Bill, baby, bill.
Lest you think that you can sit down and just plow through eight hours of billables straight, let me tell you that it isn’t possible. First off, you frequently have to do things that aren’t billable billable. Yes, you have a code so that you can record your time, but they don’t really count to your total. These are things like trainings, firm meetings, and clearing out your inbox. Second, it isn’t possible for anyone to work straight with zero breaks. You need to eat. And pee. And occasionally interact with other human beings. All of these things mean it takes longer to hit your billable quota.
(To be fair to my firm, I never hit the billable hour quota, and I was never asked to leave. I was, at times, asked to take on more work.)
Laura Vanderkam, my favorite time management guru, wrote recently about whether billable hours lead to unhappiness. She understands the challenges of the billable hour.
“[S]pending half an hour on a document instead of an hour doesn’t mean you get to be done. It means you need to tackle some other billable work.”
Vanderkam offers suggestions on tackling billables, such as bill first, start billing earlier, dedicate larger chunks of time (like a dedicated weekend) to have other chunks free, and plan quality activities for when you aren’t billing.
These are good ideas, and I certainly tried some, specifically bill first and bill early. Post-kids, I adopted the schedule of a 4:30 or 5:00 am wakeup to get a few hours in, spend time with the baby, and then head into the office. These early hours were precious writing hours, and I tried not to squander them on low-brainpower tasks that could wait until the afternoon. (In case this sounds horrible to you, all I can say is that I did not do well with a split evening shift–although I sometimes had to work one. At the end of the day after commuting, dinner, bath, I just wanted to chill with a glass of wine, not log back on.)
These early morning hours were also protected. Particularly as someone more junior, your schedule is not your own. You don’t decide when the conference call happens. You don’t schedule the training. For someone usually generating the first version of documents, these interruptions can kill your day. (Maker’s v. Manager’s Schedule. YES, this.) My early morning hours at least gave me a jumpstart before the unpredictability of the day.
The suggestion to have dedicated work weekends or evenings to catch up, however, I think is a little trickier. This assumes that hours are fungible. One hour could be worked either at 10:00 am one day or 10:00 pm the next. But hours are not worked in a vacuum. Enter clients.
Clients pay the bills, and peskily, have certain expectations on when they will receive work. Ideally, the work-bringer-in-er would negotiate a reasonable schedule so that the work could be done in a timely, but un-crazy fashion. But that doesn’t always happen. Emergencies come up. Things can fall through the cracks. Sometimes you are just slammed no matter what.
But sometimes you aren’t busy. Sometimes there are built in lulls. You just sent a memo to the client or partner and are waiting to hear back. You just filed a brief and are waiting for the court or opposing counsel. Ideally, you’d have something else to turn to, but you may not. If you take on more work, you won’t be able to juggle everything together. Everyone says to enjoy the slow times; that the busy times will make up for it on hours. But first, I like my lulls much more when I can plan something, which is hard to do when you suddenly end up with a slow afternoon. Second, what if the busy times don’t even out, even though it feels like they should? If you throw in some weekends or nights, it starts to feel like a lot of work, even if your overall hours don’t tell the same story.
So I don’t think a dedicated work chunk would be helpful, at least in my previous corner of biglaw. If I had a dedicated weekend, I might already be working it or burnt out from whatever I’d just worked.
The closest efficiency hack I could offer would be to avoid all non-billable activities. Don’t be on a committee. Don’t be social with summer associates. Skip the trainings. Don’t stop and talk to your neighbor. These activities are double whammies because they eat time and take away from possible billing.
But this approach isn’t very fun. Or sociable. It creates people who are not good firm stewards. It may work in the short term, but I don’t think it would sustainable over a career.
I never found any secrets to fix the billable hour. Someday I will figure out a new pricing system for firms and become a gazillionaire. For now, I’m just enjoying not having to bill my hours.
Fellow lawyers, did you adopt any more successful strategies? Or anyone else on the billable hour?
Henry is a hoot: Volume 3
Henry says some pretty hilarious things. I’ve been told that I used to say hilarious things once, but my parents didn’t write it down and cannot remember even one witty anecdote. Inspired by YHL’s Clara Conversations, I wanted to share some Henry-isms as I collect a critical mass.
Henry: (As he wipes out) Down goes me! (Apparently, our saying “Down goes Henry” in our “Down goes Frazier” voices has rubbed off.)
Henry: Get off that swing!
Me: Why?
Henry: There is a spider on it. A spider and bird poop.
Henry: That’s Biglietto! (Referring to Roberto who works in our building. Biglietto = ticket.)
Henry: I’m not Goliath. I’m not David. I’m just me.
Psst. Want more hilarious Henry? Check him out here and here.



































