Well, I had a birthday round these parts.  I used to make fun of my mom because she could never remember her age.  Once, in her 30s, she “lost” a year because she had been saying the wrong age all year.

Now, I (gulp) have become my mom on this one.  I usually can’t remember how old I am.  To help me remember my new milestone, I’ve put together 33 things I’ve learned in my 33 years on Earth.  Get ready to have some knowledge dropped on ya!

1. If something is off about your contact and you can’t fix it after a few tries with saline, just get a new contact.  It will bother you all day and isn’t worth it.
2. You can believe something that you think is an absolute, immutable truth and you will find 100 people with 100 different opinions about it.
3. Nobody is looking at you as much as you think they are looking at you.
4. Don’t save the nice bath stuff, wine, or chocolate for some day.  Use it and enjoy it now.
5. Try not to make decisions when you are really tired or really hungry.
6. Don’t say you are going out for “just one drink” unless you want to end up closing down the bar and catching the wrong metro line home.
7. No one knows or cares if you wash your hair every day.
8. Kids help you to be a better version of yourself.  A more tired version, but more aspirational.  If you want your kid to eat vegetables and volunteer, you probably have to eat vegetables and volunteer yourself.
9. Everything takes longer than you think it will.  Everything.  Always.
10. You probably do regret most the things you didn’t do.  Unless the thing you didn’t do is a tequila shot.  Tequila shots are never a good idea.
11. Measuring cups make excellent bath toys.
12. Thinking of a list of 33 things is hard.
13. And kind of pretentious.
14. Oh, well, can’t quit now.
15. No one is looking at you as much as you think they are.  I said this already?  Well, it is still REALLY true.
16. When in doubt, it usually never hurts to err on the side of politeness.
17. Marry your best friend.
18. Or at least someone you really like to spend lots of time with.
19. (Am I there yet?  NO??  This is making me feel old.  Old and yet without wisdom.)
20. Better to keep doing lots of little gestures rather than worry about one grand gesture that never gets done.
21. Work hard.
22. You may not be able to do something, but you definitely won’t be able to do it if you never try.
23. I rarely regret spending time with a book.
24. No one notices if you wear the same thing all the time.  Or they are just too polite to comment.
25. Sometimes you just need to have a dance party.
26. Shake it off.
27. Phones are not more interesting than people.  And if they are, you should probably find new people.
28. Haters gonna hate.
    

    Pretend I’m wearing real shoes. And that I occasionally clean my mirror.

29. It is always easier to consume than create.
30. Nobody is ever pissed about getting a handwritten note.
31. Try not to judge other parents.  You could be catching them at their worst 5% of the day.
32. Just don’t judge other people really.
33. Do you.

Whew, hard work is done.  I only need to figure out one thing this year to add on to my sweet list.  I got this.